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Saucier6157 Asked December 2019

My son has power of attorney over my ex-husband. Just wondering if he can keep me away from him even though my ex wants me there?

My son and I do not get along very well and he doesn't think I need to be anywhere around my ex where in fact my ex and I were planning to be remarried before his stroke and have been talking. I even spent time with him after his stroke. Now that he is home I'm forbidden to be anywhere around by my son because he has power of attorney. Can he do this with this power of attorney? If I do go what could be the consequences? He claims he will have me thrown in jail. Can he do this even though I have caused no harm and my ex wants me to move back in which we had planned previously? What power does he really have over us being together? We were married for 32 years and divorced after the death of our daughter for only 2 years and realized we still loved each other very much and planned on re marrying . My ex is still in his right mind but forgets a lot. He's recently told me to come home but I'm being banned even from phone calls. I desperately want to be with him because I love him so much and he loves me and they are lying to him tell him my phone is broke and that's why I don't call. When I do call my daughter who stays with him on her phone won't let me talk to him. Please I need some help. I need some advice.

Countrymouse Dec 2019
He can do it if he believes it is in his father's best interests. We can't possibly judge whether it is or it isn't, but that his sister seems to agree with him that it's better for their father not to have contact with you doesn't look good.

It might be best to get a lawyer or a family mediator to handle this for you, and see what contact with your ex-husband can be negotiated. If you want your good intentions to be trusted and taken seriously, do not do anything irresponsible like turn up on the doorstep and create conflict.

bluefinspirit Dec 2019
Having POA generally does not give you the legal right or obligation to decide who can and cannot have contact. That being said, as an ex-wife, you probably have very little legal rights of your own to guarantee contact with your ex. It's entirely up to your ex, so you can either try to work something out with your son and daughter-in-law, or you can petition the court for visitation rights.

I would go with the first option and talk to your son. Convince him that you just want to see his father, and you believe that is your ex's wish as well. If you can work out something with your son, I would take it SLOW. Don't go in there with claims of reconciliation and remarriage. Just go to visit, enjoy your time together, and then leave. I know it's easier said than done, but try to leave the baggage at the door. :-)

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Rbuser1 Dec 2019
I'm going to answer from a son/daughter's POV. No, he doesn't have the power to keep you away, but he is looking out for his Dad's best interest that is why he was appointed POA. Did ex offer you to be his POA?
There seems to be a lot of animosity between you and your adult children, from what you said. You also say your ex is in his right mind but forgets a lot. Do you know who doesn't forget a lot...your adult son and daughter.
You aren't doing anyone any good making all of this about you.
I think you should step back. And that is my opinion.
MargaretMcKen Dec 2019
RBuser, perhaps the children don’t want to share with her, perhaps she doesn't want to share with them. Neither of us know. Money is often the nastiest reason for actions that don’t seem to make a lot of sense. There is a fine line between giving an opinion and being a bit more judgemental than is helpful.
MargaretMcKen Dec 2019
If both your son and your daughter are stopping you from contacting your ex-husband, their father, it sounds as though there is a bigger back story. Was your divorce bitter (even though you now regret it)? Do they disagree that your ex really wants you back, or perhaps think that it would upset him enough to be a problem for his health? Do they think that you want to re-marry just so that he will change his will in your favour again?

Protecting their own inheritance is perhaps the most likely answer, even though it’s the nastiest. If this is not true, perhaps making it clear to them will resolve the problem. At the moment you apparently can’t be close to both your ex and your children. Perhaps you know why, and could work on that problem.
Rbuser1 Dec 2019
'Protecting their own inheritance is perhaps the most likely answer, even though it's the nastiest' Why is it the 'nastiest'-they are his children as well as hers. Wouldn't she want them to have their inheritance? And if not, that is where the nastiness lies. Wow.
worriedinCali Dec 2019
Who owns the house? If it’s your sons house then he can absolutely ban you from his house. Is your ex husband mobile and able to leave the house himself? Even if it’s your ex husband’s house, if your son lives there and you go over there & there’s a disturbance, the police will make you leave because you don’t live Now what your son can’t do as POA is restrict his father from seeing the people he wants to see. I think the easiest thing to do would be to TRY to work things out with your son that way you can go to the home and visit when you want.

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