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Nicole77066 Asked October 2019

My mother frequently urinates & soils herself. She wears Depends but has gotten used to going & not changing. Anyone found a solution?

She’s been tested for dementia and passes basic cognitive tests. I believe this is depression due to other health conditions. Does anyone deal with? Found a way to improve hygiene and/or quality of life?

pronker Oct 2019
It's foresighted of you to do this - and even though she may not or cannot express it, she'll reap the benefits of your aid and any hired help. I hope all goes well. ;)

pronker Oct 2019
Yes, I am dealing with this issue re Spouse, who wears Depends for one year now but who times their changing to 3-4 x weekly. It's exasperating to fight with him re changing and disgusting to smell him and that leaves the issue of skin condition aside. They are engineered to hold leaks and not floods.

Just last Wednesday the VA assigned a psychiatrist to him and she hasn't done anything other than simply meet him, so we shall see what happens. Does your mom live with you? So your mom passed those tests? That is interesting and I wonder what else could be considered dementia, if not these habits.

There is a lot for Spouse to be depressed over: at 77, he's faced 3x bouts of colon cancer with both chemo and rad treatments, has a-fib, diabetes for which he injects insulin 2x daily, and is on 16 sorts of meds daily. I'm at my wit's end re his toileting because the place of worship has told him he smells, he ruined one chair there, and at home seems not to care about anything regarding the issue. He's mostly urinary incontinent.
Nicole77066 Oct 2019
My mom has similar health issues to your husband. No, she doesn’t live with me; I live out of state. I am preparing myself to hire help to clean her up. My last visit, I had her go to the bathroom every hour. I’m considering taking leave to stay longer, see if I can help build a habit for her and hire a home health aid or something.

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