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Sonny65 Asked October 2019

I don't want to argue but that's ALL she wants to do.

For the last 4 months, every question she asks and I answer; she turns into a 45 min tirade. It doesn't matter what it's about; weather, dishes, coffee, a background actor in a TV commercial or the barking dog 2 blocks away. I have gotten to the point of ignoring her and Not answering at all. If I agree I'm condescending, if I disagree I'm being controlling, if I don't answer "I don't care if this old b*tch lives or dies" or "I'm an awful son". The last 3 days; since I've had this migraine; I've refused to answer. She kept repeating the same question back to back for 15 min. She finally started sobbing saying "She should just take off and live alone" and that's on top of her accelerated griping about the "cold 76 degree temp" not having nothing to eat; fridge is full & so is the cupboard; about what program is on the TV which she put on just 2 min ago. She is completely insufferable lately. Now, to make matters worse, her neuro is retiring and the state screwed up her Medicare insurer and has switched her BACK to just Medicaid for the 2nd time in as many months. This coming Friday I'm having it out with the state ins board and the rep of the ins co the state assigned to her; which neither Medicaid & the ins company is accepted at her doctors group. The worst thing about all of this is that I'm down to 24 hrs/wk instead of the 5 12hr days I'm supposed to be working. When is someone going to shoot ME????

anonymous912123 Oct 2019
This will not get better, she needs to be placed in a home, for both of your well-being. You need to get your life back, she is toxic and out of control. Don't do this to yourself. My Best!

Isthisrealyreal Oct 2019
I would get her checked for a UTI if her behavior is escalating. Sounds like she could have an infection.

It sounds like she may be ready for a village. She would have lots of people to talk to and at. She would have 3 meals and snacks, she would have her needs met and you could go back to being her son and not her caregiver.

Her comments are her attempt to manipulate you, she has been successful so it will probably get very ugly before she settles into a facility.

Best of luck.

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Drandom1 Oct 2019
I dont have any answers for you but what I can say is that your not alone. I'm recently new to all this and you've just described everyday life with my mom and I. I'm feeling so lost and my nerves are shot them with the next breath I take I have overwhelming feeling of guilt because all I want to do is shut her and rest of the world out. Thank you for sharing and letting me know I'm not alone.

AlvaDeer Oct 2019
You are being made mentally and physically ill. I believe it is time to seek placement. This can't go on, and yet it WILL go on, and I think you know this. It could go on until you are frankly so ill that no one will HAVE to shoot you; you will just cash in your chips all on your own. And then where will she be? I am so sorry for what you are going through.

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