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Pjsart Asked September 2019

My father needs an appropriate long term facility that has the right skills to handle dementia. What do I do?

My father had been at a memory care facility that advertises they care for dementia residents. My father's anti-anxiety medication stopped working adequately. He became agitated and threw a pottery item through the glass of the locked French doors of his studio apartment. Usually his caregivers state he can be stubborn but his behavior overall is fine. Several times different caregivers have commented how sweet he is. He was admitted to a Geri psychiatric hospital where the doctor got the medications corrected. The director of nursing at the memory care unit is refusing to accept him back. She originally refused to even do a personal assessment to determine his eligibility to return. After speaking to personnel in corporate, they've done a one on one assessment. Monday I await their determination. Realistically the nursing director isn't going to rescind her opinion at this point. What do I do?

Gomapettit Sep 2019
I'm so sorry you are going through this. I too had a similar situation with my normally sweet father who was diagnosed with Alzheimer's and lived with my mom until age 92. He started getting combative, going into rages, etc in between being super sweet. We were worried for my 92 year old mom. Found small group home through a search service...oh yeah we can handle him....24 hrs later...paramedics called...your dad hurt himself trying to break out...owner says come get him. Admitted him to a geriatric behavioral hospital for medication....there 3 weeks...owner says...oh yes we can take him back.....lasted 6 hrs...8 at night...come get your dad. Finally found a wonderful small group home that took him. Nothing fancy but they were wonderful and basically he needed to be on several heavy medications....but by then he was nearing the end. On hospice after a few weeks and then passed away. I feel bad for the way his life ended but find solace that he was well cared for and by then he didn't know me or my mom. I think this is one of the cruelest forms of Alzheimer's and also one that not a lot of people talk about. We were lucky that he qualified for the VA benefit that paid for his care. Good luck to you...there is help out there. Keep calling and asking!!

gladimhere Sep 2019
If he is a danger to himself or others, they will not take him back. It is the facility to determine whether he will b accepted.

Here is someone with a very similar problem.
https://www.agingcare.com/questions/can-anyone-give-me-the-name-of-a-permanent-housing-facility-for-violently-abusive-and-aggressive-sen-452570.htm?orderby=oldest

My mom was kicked out of memory care because of her agitation and dangerous behaviors. She was on hospice at the time. Hospice suggested a care home, smaller facility, fewer residents, better caregiver/resident ratio, and less costly. Mom would have done better there from the beginning. Excellent care from caregivers with additional training on how best to handle agitation.

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CaregiverL Sep 2019
If they don’t take him back, then they have to send him to ER & have Social Worker there place him. Don’t let them talk into you to take him home, under any circumstances. Say there’s nobody home to take care of him. Hugs 🤗

anonymous912123 Sep 2019
When you get the assessment I would make an appointment and see what can be worked out. Most are compassionate, yet, understand that they have a responsibility to protect their staff too.

Geaton777 Sep 2019
If you are determined to get him back into that same facility you can contact the ombudsman to start to resolve the issue.

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