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Ohmypapa2019 Asked July 2019

What do we do with our disabled senior (and my mother-in-law) who is bored and disinterested in everything?

No matter what we do, it's complaints all day and every day about everything. We have had her checked out by the doctors over and over in the past few months. She does not want to eat and complains about all her food. She is not sleeping at night anymore - worrying about things she shouldn't even be thinking about; always wears a Depends but goes to the bathroom constantly and all night. Is Arthritic and complains about pain, pain and more pain; complains that her medication and supplements do not work and is starting to refuse them; does not even read the newspaper; is overweight and MOST inactive; watches 2 game shows on TV in the morning and one 2 in the evening and lays in bed almost the rest of the day; talks to her friends on the phone in the morning however, once that is done she gets bored with the TV; she used used to be an avid baseball and soccer fan - hasn't watched any games in months; expects us to sit with her all day and gets angry if we don't. I think she need to be seen by a psychologist but there is no way this will happen - it is costly and there is no-one to take her. This is a very difficult situation. We are at our wit's end and do not know what to do.

BarbBrooklyn Jul 2019
Doesn't she have Medicare?

She needs to be seen by a geriatric psychiatrist to be evaluated for depression.

Ahmijoy Jul 2019
Have you considered putting down the nursing home card? You can explain to her that you are sorry she is not happy living with you, that she doesn’t like the food you serve, that your tv doesn’t have her favorite shows, her meds don’t work, you can’t keep her company, etc and you’re looking for a place she can live that will be able to provide all those things for her. She will have caregivers around the clock all day, every day, a doctor and nurses to look in in her, and aides and other residents to keep her company. This will be a wonderful place for her to get exactly what she wants. Uh-huh. When she blows up, that’s your chance to tell her if she wants to stay, things have to change. It will be up to you, by the way, to stop treating her like the Queen of the House if you are and stop worrying about her every want and complaint. Pull yourself away from the edge of the cliff, turn around and take back your life. Either she shapes up or she really will be out.

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Coffee4me Jul 2019
Have you called Agency on Ageing? They may have some resources available.

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