How do I deal with a 98 old who is falling in love with his aide?

Just be aware that, depending on the details of your situation, your LO may be ripe for elder financial abuse. From family experience I can tell you that an aid to my cousin's half-brother seemed to be just an angel and "cared so much for John". My cousin wasn't monitoring the situation closely enough. Well that aide got him to sign over everything to her. Not saying this is the case for your LO, but approach the situation with your eyes wide open.

Sometimes dementia patients become highly sexual and if this is the patients diagnosis it may be due to this. Their sexual drive is in high gear, you should discuss this with his primary care Dr.

It is common for elderly males to admire females that may remind them of the loved ones that care/cared for them.

As long as the aide is professional, and not falling back in love with him...this should be a positive situation.

Hammer13, just curious how you know this is happening? Is this something that the 98 year old is telling you? If yes, he could be just smitten by the Aide because she is there to help him. He might be reading more into this crush than what is actually happening.

Ask the Aide if the 98 year old is approaching her? Or is he just flirting? As JoAnn had said, a good Aide will know how to handle this situation. If the 98 year old is getting fresh with her, she would contact her Agency, and the Agency would contact you.

A good aide will know how to handle herself in this position. As long as he isn't trying to be physical and its just a crush, I wouldn't worry about it. If the aide incourages the attention, then I would get another one. There have been stories on this forum where the aide overrides the wishes of the POA. One moved her family in. Another thought because she was a live in, was entitled to be able to live in the house after the clients death.

U need to talk to the aide, see if she is uncomfortable. I agree, watch the situation. If he has Dementia he probably thinks he is her age. Won't be able to change that. The aide has to discourage him. Telling him she is married with kids. Has a BF.

Keep a keen eye out on the situation... as CM said, he may just be swooned by the attention..

It depends on what you mean by "deal with" and "falling in love with."

I think if I were 98 and I were being nicely looked after by a sweet, kind young person who showered me with attention and approval, I might be a little bit in love with her too. I'd talk about her a lot, and be smitten with her virtues, and all of the other things that look like the budding of romantic attachment.

Are you genuinely concerned that he might be at risk of abuse or exploitation if you just let him enjoy it?

KEEP THEM SEPARATED... this is part of a song....

But it may apply to this situation....

OH, and make sure you have POA and etc et.... Does he have a living trust alaready? Make sure he is or isn't mentally distracted.

Think carefully about scams. This is a potential ‘new will’ situation.

As long as it is Platonic and appropriate behavior, do nothing.

Hammer
You have given us very little information. Does the elder have dementia?
Why do you have to deal with a 98 yr old falling in love with his aide?
Is this your relative? Are you the aide?
When you say “his” aide I assume this is for an elder living at home?
If the aide is bothered by attention, or the attention is inappropriate or causes a problem then the aide should be replaced. Give her a great referral and time to find another position and appropriate intervention. Hopefully the aide is not encouraging him.