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Brennan Asked April 2019

My 94-year-old mother-in-law has caused an uproar at her assisted living facility, claiming a fellow resident stole her purse. How can we get her to move on?

This has been proven to be false, but she cannot let it go and the matter dominates every conversation. How can we get her to move on?

JoAnn29 Apr 2019
I like Surprise response. Play into her delusion. Well Mom the police found the person who really did it. Somebody that doesn't even live here.

NeedHelpWithMom Apr 2019
So sad. Sorry you are dealing with this.

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surprise Apr 2019
Buy a new purse. Tell her that hers was found ripped to pieces down by the school, that some little thug must have gotten it, not her neighbor. When I have given mthr "reasonable" solutions to her dilemmas, she has accepted them. I believe part of the story-telling comes from these broken brains trying to reason through things they can't process. The first thought that pops up is the one they insist happen. If you give them ANY excuse that fits with that scenario, they are more likely to take that reason and modify it to make it their own.
NeedHelpWithMom Apr 2019
I’d try this answer or anything she may believe. Got to be hard to deal with.
Ahmijoy Apr 2019
Simple. Unfortunately, you can’t until she’s ready and moves on to the next thing. She has dementia? My mother’s life in her facility, after she had been there for about a year, was consumed by hallucinations and delusions. There were so many I couldn’t keep track of them all. Sometimes more than one at a time. She also accused a man in her apartment complex of stalking her and trying to break into her apartment. She’d hide her wallet and then imagine he broke in and stole it and she’d call 911. Thank heavens the officer was understanding and so was the staff at her nursing home. When she started, I told her I’d talk to the nurse about whatever the delusion du jour was and have her straighten it out. She liked and trusted this nurse so she was satisfied with that.

Arguing and denying on your part does no good. Just ride it out.

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