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Els1eL Asked January 2019

Carer inappropriately touching Mum. It may be nothing - can I have some advice please?

Recently, a new female carer started work at my parents’ NH. Lately I have noticed, on a few occasions, that when she needs to help my mum sit down or maneuver her out of the way, she places her hand on my mum’s breasts. My mum is non the wiser, being in late stages Alzheimer’s but I know if she was herself she wouldn’t want to be handled that way and would want to be treated with more respect ie by the carer touching her hands, elbows, shoulders etc. I haven’t said anything yet because the carer is Eastern European and I know that things are different in their culture and maybe she sees nothing wrong in this. I don’t want to get her into trouble but at the same time, I don’t want her to handle my mum this way. Do I speak to her? Do I speak to the Head Carer? Do I do nothing? Mum isn’t upset by it but I am.

staceyb Jan 2019
It might be innocent enough. Could it be the Caregivers size or stature that is having her place her hands in this manner? It just doesn't seem like something she would do intentionally to me. I hope I'm wrong.
cwillie Jan 2019
I agree that there likely isn't anything malicious about it, but it doesn't sound like any kind of transfer technique I've ever heard of - perhaps the aide could use a little refresher course 🤨
Els1eL Jan 2019
Thank you everyone who replied. I just wanted some confirmation that I wasn’t overreacting.

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cwillie Jan 2019
OK that just seems weird and awkward to boot, I can't see how any transfer would involve touching that part of the body.

MountainMoose Jan 2019
A third person in the category of you speaking with the Director of Nursing (DON). I don't see any reason for the caregiver's actions.

Eyerishlass Jan 2019
I worked in health care for most of my adult life with a wide range of patients and there is never a reason to touch a patient's breasts. It's unnecessary in any and every kind of transfer or assist or repositioning. It doesn't matter where the aide is from, prior to working with residents she had training and should know better. Talk to the Director of Nursing.

Ahmijoy Jan 2019
Go to the Director of Nursing and voice your concerns. Anything that makes you uncomfortable with Mom’s care needs to be discussed. Just because the carer is of a different culture doesn’t mean it’s ok to inappropriately touch anyone. I don’t know of any culture that thinks it’s ok to hande someone’s private parts in an unconcerned and calllous manner. Some touching is inevitable when caring for , someone, but not there.

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