Today is the 1 month anniversary of Mom coming to live with us. (she's 94, stage 6-7 Alzheimer's). She's completely confused and is still trying to adapt to our home. Fortunately, my husband works from home and helps me tremendously. I have gone back to work 2 days a week to supplement our income and to "escape". The memory care facility she was in did not watch her carefully and she has fallen multiple times. (once broke her wrist, other times with multiple severe bruises). She also can't sit down or get up from the toilet, so she would pull down her diaper and urinate in the corners of rooms. That tells me that they didn't offer to take her to the toilet often enough. We go to the bathroom 7-10 times in a 24 hour period (no UTI). She's unsteady but can walk with assistance and a walker. I'm paranoid that she will fall in my home, so I watch her like a hawk. When I'm washing dishes I have my back to her. (We have a long kitchen, dining and living room set-up.) I turn around every minute to make sure she hasn't gotten up. I walked into my bedroom the other day for 3 minutes and she (miraculously) got up from the sofa and walked, on her own (without the walker), into the bathroom (which she can't find half the time). Unfortunately, she couldn't navigate the toilet seat so she just pulled down her diaper and peed on the floor. I was frantic when I came out of the bedroom because she wasn't on the couch where I left her. The surge of adrenaline could have shot me to the moon! I frantically checked her room, then found her standing in her own tinkle in the bathroom. I don't so much care about the cleanup but I'm terrified she'll fall. We hired a caregiver 4 nights a week to be in her room so she's always has a pair of eyes on her. (Baby monitor was useless.) Hubby and I take turns sleeping in her room when our angel (caregiver) isn't working. During the day, I'm forever calling my husband to come into the living room to watch her so I can take a shower, take out the garbage, put laundry away, or just pet my dogs outside. Except for trips to the grocery store and work, I haven't seen the light of day. Hubby has offered multiple times for me to go out. I've gone once or twice. I trust him in her care. Yesterday, I had a meltdown. I sat on my bed and cried. (hubby was in the living room with her.) I had to take an Ativan to calm down. (I can't tolerate the effects of antidepressants on my heart.) I feel like it would be my fault if she fell and broke something. She has osteoporosis and I understand that her bones can break at anytime and she can fall because they've broken and it wouldn't be my fault. I feel tied to the living room where she sits during the day. I once took a shower when my hubs was gone 'cause I felt so cruddy but got out of the shower twice just to check on her (she was sleeping). We can't afford more caregivers for the day shift and her SS is barely covering her costs here (diapers, wipes, feminine pads, bibs, onsies, chux (bed and sofa pads), extra food, meds, laundry products, etc.) If hubby isn't home and I need to leave the room for a bit, what do I do?