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Mambo2018 Asked January 2019

What do you do when your 84-year-old father with vascular dementia gets blind drunk 2 to 3 times a week and lives at home alone?

My dad is getting really bad sleeping lots and getting really drunk .. he drinks a litre bottle of whiskey a week.


If we didn't buy if for him he would go out himself and he can barely walk.


We are are living in a nightmare!!

97yroldmom Jan 2019
I think the point I missed is the OP said 3 or 4 times per week. He’s not taking it in measured dosages each day of the week. Rather he’s consuming the 40 units CM referred to in four days. So 10 units per episode at a minimum. If that’s the case it sounds like he is drinking until he passes out, sleeps it off the next day and then repeats the cycle.

Countrymouse Jan 2019
There are forty standard units of alcohol in 1 litre of whiskey, apparently.

Divided by seven, that makes getting on for 6 units per day (5.71 to be more precise).

Going on the more generous recommendation of max. 3 units per day (2 units per day is the stingier allowance) for a man, that means that your father is drinking nearly (not quite) twice as much as can possibly be good for him.

So it's a lot, and it would be good to reduce it certainly, but it could be worse. Try not to panic - not because this isn't worrying, it is, but because overreacting will be counterproductive.

Has he always been liberal with booze? Is this normal for him, or has the amount been creeping up?

You can lecture him about what alcohol does to sleep quality - it may knock you out, but it ruins a really good night's sleep.

You can point out that alcohol is a depressant, so that if he's already feeling down it's pretty much the worst possible solution.

You can suggest better evening and bedtime routines.

It really depends on whether you're trying to break a long-established habit, or address a recently emerged problem. Would you like to say a bit more about your father's routine, any recent changes in his life, that kind of background information which might highlight possible answers?

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JoAnn29 Jan 2019
I agree that is not enough to get plastered on. Does he takes meds that with alcohol would do this?

Sachelle Jan 2019
I and saddened to hear however this is very common amongst dementia patients with vascular dementia.I find that the long-term memory is not what is the issue it's the short-term memory and so there is no easy way to say it other than it's just a demonic beasts it's a mental illness where unfortunately their brain cells are dying rapidly. My heart goes out to you and your family I encourage you all to find some self-care make time for self-care ends if you all need assistance with self-care please let me know you're not alone. I am a caregiver as well and it's can be challenging. Unfortunately you have to make a decision on whether or not you can live with the sanity of knowing that your dad is vulnerable vulnerable to hurting himself unknowingly and others unknowingly and that is a hard decision as we have loved ones face when our loved ones begin to or continuing to show belligerent behaviors that we there's no reasoning to them it may pass it may occur but one thing's for sure you definitely we need to monitor how often and occurs and seeking the understanding that he is not safe and he is vulnerable so the quality of life not only for him is at stake but the quality of life for you and your family blessings I hope any of these words have helped you.

Please excuse any typos or grammatical errors I am using voice-to-text services as my phone does not physically have a qwerty keyboard pad.

97yroldmom Jan 2019
Call his doctor and ask how you can get him help drying out. Going cold turkey is not recommended.
He needs blood work to see which vitamins are deficient and to make sure he isn’t dehydrated.
After he gets sober, he needs therapy. Does he live alone? Does he get meals on wheels or do you take him food? If he can eat healthy food, before he drinks it will slow down the affects.
I am not sure about a liter but would that be about two drinks a day? He must be small or not eating to be passed out everyday from two drinks.
Maybe he needs to go to the ER and see what’s going on. You mention UTI on your profile, was he recently treated for a UTI?
I would call his doctor and ask for advice. He’s not likely to get better on his own. You are basically poisoning him. If he can’t walk how would he go buy it? I would just say take his keys but read the information on the link listed below. He needs medical care to stop.

https://americanaddictioncenters.org/withdrawal-timelines-treatments/cold-turkey

i just saw the vascular dementia part. He does not need to be driving. Call his doctor.

Mambo2018 Jan 2019
Thank you for taking the time to reply. These are very similar to my thoughts too .

its just good to get confirmation as you question yourself.

polarbear Jan 2019
Wow! It is a nightmare!

Does he want you to help him? Would he agree to move to an assisted living facility? If he doesn't want help, then I don't think you can do much,

If he can barely walk now, I am guessing soon he won't be able to walk and might have a medical emergency due to drinking.

If this happens and he ends up in ER, many posters here have advised those with stubborn seniors who refuse help, that it's the opportunity to get him/her into a nursing home or assisted living facility to get the proper care. For that to happen, the family members must NOT agree to take him/her back home, and since the hospital must do a safe discharge they have to find them a place where they can be taken care of.

This may be what you have to wait for.

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