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svenska123 Asked October 2018

I am sad for my mom and don't know what to do.

My Mom is 90. She lives with my stepdad. They have been married over 40 years. She is constantly accusing him of cheating on her, and telling me outrageous things. WORDS I have never heard her use in my lifetime! I KNOW it's dementia! I have tried talking to her, telling her she is 90 y/o and this is not real, it's part of the aging process, and she could get help. BIG MISTAKE!!!!She raised her fists to me and kicked me out of her house! Told me to go to hell, etc... I have tried in the past to get home care, besides Me and my stepdad doing everything. NOOOO, she will not have it! Says she doesn't want any "sluts" in her house! I am at my wits end! That is why I am typing this! I don't know what to do!

Ahmijoy Oct 2018
First of all, Svenska, you must calm down. Do not stress yourself by trying to convince your mother what she is imagining is not happening. You are provoking combativeness in her. People with dementia are very strong in their belief that what they see and think is true. She must also be checked for a urinsry tract infection as this can cause this sort of behavior in the elderly. She needs to see her doctors if she hasn’t seen them in a while. There is help but you must seek it out. The doctor is a good place to start.

svenska123 Oct 2018
Thank You Everyone!!! I am grateful for Your help! This is So Hard!

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Isthisrealyreal Oct 2018
Could you possibly get male caregivers?

Seriously, I personally think that I am going to be better, God forbid, if I am ever in need of help, dealing with males. My personal experience with male nurses has been amazing, best care ever!

Unfortunately, when people are resistant to help it usually takes an accident to make any changes. You just have to pray it's not tragic when it comes.

Kinda figure out where you want her to be for care, prices, availability, services offered, etc. That way when she goes from the hospital to rehab/SNF you will know most of what to expect.

Tough place to be, hugs for all you do.
svenska123 Oct 2018
OHH Thank You! I actually mentioned a Male P.T. to come and help her with her mobility.She is very paranoid of anyone.Thank You for Your Suggestions! This is such a great site!I really need some support through this ! I went and spoke to My Pastor today,and told Him about this site.He said ALL the Support ,The Better! Also Hugs Back!
golden23 Oct 2018
((((((hugs)))) You can't reason with a person with dementia. Is she under the care if a physician? Meds may help her less agitated. I am sorry you are going through this.
Isthisrealyreal Oct 2018
Great information Golden.

As usual 🙂

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