Find Senior Care (City or Zip)
Join Now Log In
G
GRoberts Asked July 2018

I want to be a caregiver to a friend. Any advice?

GardenArtist Jul 2018
Both Ahmi and Dee offer good insights. I think I would make a list of all the medical, care, financial and other issues; spend some time here reviewing posts on those issues to identify potential solutions as well as intractable issues which can't be resolved, then analyze how you would feel about integrating these issues and changes into your life.

What would you gain, what would you have to sacrifice, and how will you adapt to these changes?

I think that kind of "global" approach would encompass what you'd be dealing with so you can consider now whether and/or how you could handle the changes.

And an important factor is your own financial situation and how it would be changed, as well as whether your friend is prepared to enable you to legally act on her/his behalf. If this isn't possible, your hands and scope of care would really be compromised.

DeeAnna Jul 2018
GRoberts,
While I am sure that you care about this person very much, there are several things that you need to consider prior to making such a commitment. Is this person your Partner or a good friend that you work with or do activities with? What activities do you think that a caregiver does and what activities are you prepared to perform for your friend? Do you have training in caregiving or as a CNA or nurse? What medical problems or health problems does your friend have that they need a caregiver?

Will you be living with your friend? Are you working and will you continue to work while taking care of your friend? Will your friend be paying you for taking care of them? How much per hour? Will your friend pay for your health insurance (and retirement fund) if you stop working? If you have no income then you will not qualify for health insurance under the ACA and you will not be able to purchase health insurance from the Marketplace.

How much assistance does your friend need to complete their ADLs (Activities of Daily Living, such as getting dressed, bathing, feeding oneself, walking, etc.) and Ancillary or Independent Activities of Daily Living--IDLs (such as writing checks, paying bills, shopping, driving a car, making decisions about hiring someone to mow the lawn or fix the house)? If your friend needs physical assistance, are you strong enough to be able to transfer your friend from a chair to a bed or toilet by yourself?

These are a few of the questions that you need to consider prior to taking care of your friend. Being a caregiver is a hard and strenuous job--physically, emotionally/psychologically and mentally. Please give us some more details so that we can give appropriate suggestions for your situation.

ADVERTISEMENT


Ahmijoy Jul 2018
If you’re speaking if moving in with them or having them move in with you, think long and hard before you mostly give up your life to do this. Does this person or will this person require 24/7 Care? If so, are you independently wealthy? Or can this person afford to pay you out of their pocket (after a caregiver agreement is drawn up) what you would be making at an outside job, including health care and retirement benefits? Are you prepared to do everything for this person if necessary, even the most personal of care? Are you able to handle medical Care on some level for this person? Is your friendship strong enough to withstand the stress of caregiving and receiving?

Maybe if you provided more details of the situation we could give more informed advice?

ADVERTISEMENT

Ask a Question

Subscribe to
Our Newsletter