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Dean2018 Asked May 2018

Can you help me with my bereavement?

My beloved wife Eppy passed away earlier this month (5/5/2018). We were married for almost 9 years. I was her primary caregiver for over 3 years while she battled a genetic mutation form of lung cancer. My mother passed away of the same illness. This is my third wife that has passed away. My faith in my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ is helping me through this difficult time. I also have the support of family and others. With all that, I still feel lonely after being married since 1982. I miss my wife and even though I know she is happy with her mother and father that passed away earlier, I feel a great loss.

GardenArtist May 2018
Dean, you've really quite a traumatic experience. I too offer not only my condolences, but peace, strength, and respite time for you as you move forward.

I think each loss is similar, but different, and we grieve differently for those who we've lost.

I've found that nature is a healing force; don't hesitate to take walks or go to parks, if that helps you.

And sometimes just being alone and remembering helps.

SueC1957 May 2018
Dean,
I'm sorry for the loss of your wife. You know she is at peace and there is no suffering in Heaven.

But that doesn't stop the terrible lonely spot in your life that she filled.

It's not even been a month, so the pain is fresh. As time goes on your pain will fade, being replaced by great memories. Where there are tears now, there will be smiles in the future.

Our Heavenly Father is taking very good care of her soul ( Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Matthew 6:30)

Try to go for a walk everyday. Have the sun shine on your face and think that is where your wife is, a bright, warm place with no misery, sadness or other negative earthly emotions.

One day you will be reunited with her again but I know she'd want you to go on with your life and prosper ( I have come that they may have life, and have it abundantly. John 10:10)

When you feel ready, get out and join a group, club or volunteer at a church, "soup kitchen", nursing home, homeless shelter, etc.. Doing service for others makes us feel better and increases our self worth.

Hang on to the Good Lord for strength and ask Him to lead you in the right direction.

God bless you.

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shad250 May 2018
I'm so sorry for your loss Dean. I'd add to polarbear to consider volunteering, especially at a food pantry. You could meet many different people who volunteer, and also heling people who are in need of food as well.

polarbear May 2018
Dean- I'm so sorry for the loss of your wife. I can tell that you loved her very much and that she was your friend and your life partner.

I have heard that men who were happily married tend to remarry again soon after. That may explain why you have married 3 times.

My recommendation is for you to involve yourself in group activities that you enjoy, for examples, church activities, taking community classes, join a group that meets regularly to do fun things. You can find hundreds of groups on MeetUp dot com.

The idea is to get outside in the sunshine, meet people, and be active. You never know you might meet another special lady who wants to share her life with you.

As we age, women tend to outlive men. In a room full of ladies, you might be well sought after. 😃

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