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Discombobulated Asked April 2018

How will I know if my mum’s will has been changed and when she dies?

My *sister and brother-in-law are joint attorneys for mum's finance and property/health and welfare, despite negligible care!
My wife and I provided sole care up to 12 July 2017. My mother is now in a nursing home and I am not allowed to contact her?
My blood relative & her husband are acting under the auspices of avarice, and I have a suspicion that they have also altered the will!
My mother and I once enjoyed a reciprocal loving relationship and it’s heartbreaking why those circumstances have changed.
My elderly mother is an impressionable, frail lady, my wife and I and select others feel she has been manipulated by *aforementioned.
How can I elucidate if my mother’s will has been amended, and I also doubt if my sibling will inform me if mum deteriorates or dies.
Any help the community can provide will be gratefully received.

Discombobulated Apr 2018
Hi Jeanne
I saw my mother every day before she went to the NH,my wife and I provided 24 hour rotational care with back up support workers.
We took mum out for luncheons,encouraged her to attend community clubs etc; the latter to no avail.
My mother was codependent on my wife and I for her mundane needs but not self directed with any specific leisure pursuits at all.
Thank you to you all respondents for their advice.

jeannegibbs Apr 2018
You are not allowed to have contact with your mother, and your question is about her will ... hmm. The first thing I would do with an Elder Law attorney is to reestablish contact with mother. Perhaps she has been told/thinks that you are staying away by choice and she feels abandoned. It would be awful to allow her to spend the rest of her life thinking that.


You will probably have to wait until the will is probated to find out about that. But discuss it with the lawyer.

BTW, how often did you visit Mom before she went into the NH? What kinds of things did you do together?

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JoAnn29 Apr 2018
Holiday, good point.

I assume sister is Executor. As such, upon Probate, she has to contact everyone mentioned in the will and interested parties that the will is being probated. At that time the Will is now public and you can request to see it. As Executor she has to abide by the Will. I agree, you Needs a lawyer.

HolidayEnd Apr 2018
All I can think of is get your own lawyer. Also, after talking to YOUR lawyer perhaps reporting your sister to the BAR association. I’m no expert but isn’t this conflict of interest on her part?

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