How do I keep my aunt’s bank books away from her when she is constantly asking me to bring them back to her?

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anonymous792958 Asked April 2018

How do I keep my aunt’s bank books away from her when she is constantly asking me to bring them back to her?

This is a 96 yr old, no children. I am one of two nieces who are her care givers. She is at home and we have in home care for her along with two days at a senior center. She cannot let go of her bank books. When my sister or I bring the books home for safekeeping, she is constantly calling, saying she cannot find them and wants them back. We have kept them at our homes. She has our names on the books, because she can no longer manage her financial affairs. She has severe dementia and it is so annoying to have these constant calls and the crying and hysteria! Any suggestions on how we can handle this?

Dementia Behaviors Financial POA Severe Dementia

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score 1 · Answer 1

Thank you, I have been telling her I have the books in my safe deposit box for safe keeping. She becomes obsessed with those books, constantly taking a look at them, then misplacing them. It was time for my sister and me to take charge. My sister is trying to obtain the POA and we ended up having her agree to put our names on all her bank books as co owner. That was so much help. She hadn’t prepared for her funeral yet, so today we did and now that is secure and paid for, we do not want her to see the books as we used her funds to pay the funeral home. Good suggestions with duplicate books, I will have to get them from the bank. I appreciate your help

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score 2 · Answer 2

I think that one's financial documents might be a source of comfort when someone slides into old age, perhaps reminding her (dementia notwithstanding) that she has funds left in case she needs help.

I would just get duplicate bank books and leave them with her, if it soothes her.

Are you handling her financial matters b/c of joint accounts, or pursuant to a financial DPOA or POA?

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score 3 · Answer 3

MadrinhaAlice, sometimes we need to use what are called "theraputic fibs". You can tell your Aunt that banks do not use bankbooks any more, that everything is now on the computer.

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How do I keep my aunt’s bank books away from her when she is constantly asking me to bring them back to her?

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