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DKuser Asked March 2018

My mother has had dementia for about a year, but recently it became much worse so I moved her to my home. Any opinions on how I can make the transition work?

She was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and I moved her to my home. She is not happy because she believes nothing is wrong with her memory. She has auditory and visual hallucinations daily. She needs help with basic care and relies on a walker. She is constantly asking to go home which isn’t safe for her at all. She also has her son confused with our deceased father and thinks he is cheating on her. At times she doesn’t even know me. She was started on risperdal and seraquel to help with sleep and hallucinations. We see a neurologist tomorrow. Any opinions on how I can make the transition work?

freqflyer Mar 2018
DKuser, scroll down to the bottom of this page to the blue section.... click on ALZHEIMER'S CARE where you will find a lot of informative information on dementia.

As for the hallucinations, have your Mom tested for an Urinary Tract Infection as such symptoms can develop from having a UTI.

DKuser Mar 2018
Thank you for your guidance! I will update you tomorrow.

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Grammyteacher Mar 2018
I agree, read read read...and watch videos...I like Teepa Snow and Naomi Feil. Prepare all legal documents with the help of a certified elder attorney. Learn strategies such as validation to deal with your LO. Come back here often for help.

jeannegibbs Mar 2018
Probably the most helpful thing you can do is learn about her disease, and how other people handle various aspects of it. Seeing a neurologist should be helpful. Ask for suggestions for reading materials, and for caregiver support groups.

Many people with dementia want to go home (sometimes even when they are home.) Many caregivers find that the least conflict occurs when they don't argue with their loved one, or try to reason with them. Instead acknowledge their feelings and go along with their delusions as far as practical. "Oh Mom, I don't blame you for wanting to go home! You have a fine home, and do such a good job of caring for it. While your plumbing is being repaired I'm enjoying your visit here. I hope that maybe you can help me with a few chores. We can think about that later, but right now I feel like having a snack. Should we have tea and cookies, or would you rather have a root beer float?"

Don't try to convince her she can't live on her own or that she needs help with basics, etc. That simply is not her reality.

Let us know how the doctor visit goes tomorrow.

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