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cosmicgirl61 Asked March 2018

Time for POA and medical POA?

Hello,
So my mom is 92 and still lives in her home. She has been falling at least once a year and luckily no broken bones but time in rehab facility. She is about to go home. I am an only daughter with a growing family a newborn grandson and 4 month old granddaughter. Her issues are taking me away from my family and I work part time too. 1) any suggestions 2) if I get POA am I responsible for the debt she has incurred 3) do any of you know about adult day care. My mom still has a car too. She barely cleans up after herself in the house but wants to remain there. If only I could clone myself. This is exhausting!! I manage her doctor appts and take her there. Do her laundry, purchase groceries for her, we pay for repairs in the home. What are your suggestions or have you been in this position. I don’t think I want her living we me if I can help it! Thanks in advance. Oh and I live in Pennsylvania.

freqflyer Mar 2018
cosmicgirl61, you asked is it time for POA and medical POA?

Everyone who is of adult age should have a Power of Attorney. You should have one of your own, and so should your grown child especially with him/her having children. Something could happen and with no one is legally named to make choices for you when you can't can create issues. I bet your Mom has fallen more than once a year, elders will hide that fact. It wasn't until my Mom had to live in long-term-care that Dad finally admitted that he and my Mom were falling all the time.

As for your Mom, stop enabling her so that she continues to remain in her own home. If she cannot afford to pay for repairs to her home, it is time to downsize. Next time something breaks at her house, say "sorry, I cannot possibly pay for that".

With the equity in her house she could use that to pay the monthly rent on a Independent Living apartment or an Assisted Living apartment, unless she has a Reverse Mortgage or Line of Credit which is used up.

Windyridge Mar 2018
A properly drawn POA would give you the ability to take care of mom’s medical and financial issues. Your mom must be mentally competent and agree to grant you POA. It would not make you liable for her debt.

My guess is your mom is ready for assisted living or skilled nursing home. It sounds like she is broke and would need to apply for Medicaid.

I would be very worried about he driving. Has she had accidents or been getting lost?

This is very typical.....Old folks don’t want any change, want to stay home in a run down house and expect the kids to take care of everything. 

In my case it took a crisis to get my folks into care. Mom had a bad fall, went into hospital and I had her discharged into assisted living then placed Dad a few days later.  

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gladimhere Mar 2018
No you are not responsible for her debt unless PA is a filial responsibility state. With POA you are responsible for her financial and medical business if she is incapacitated. But, you need to take care of yourself first. It sounds like it is time for assisted living for mom. My mom went to adult day care which was wonderful and extended her time at home. Eventually, facility living is necessary for most.

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