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Tigerbay1 Asked December 2017

My 95-year-old father has been living with my husband and me for the last two years. He sold his house and really has nowhere to go. Any advice?

My husband was very supportive of his being here. The last six months or more he has become very angry and verbally abusive with me because of it. He has stopped speaking to my father at all. My father can find some self to his room and either watches television or reads a book. I've tried to talk to my husband about this, but he just lashes out at me and won't discuss it and just tells me he wants him gone. There is no other family member to help. He doesn't really want to go to an assisted living and he's really not ready for a nursing home can someone please help?

SueC1957 Dec 2017
Tigerbay,
Maybe hubby's feeling a bit of jealousy watching dad and daughter interact? Are you spending as much time with hubs as you were?
Before anybody moves out, try spoiling hubby a bit more. Little gifts, a favorite dinner, a bottle of champagne behind your locked bedroom door?

Here was our situation;
My husband was the one encouraging me to bring my 94 year old mother home from the memory care home. (The rent went past her SS and she
couldn't afford to live there anymore). He thought we could care for her in stage 6 Alzheimer's! After 3 months, he changed his tune. (I never wanted to try it in the first place.)

We started to disagree, then bicker, then stomp off and that's when I said my mother must NOT come between my husband and me. I know she's my mom but she doesn't even know who we are anymore. My husband is supposed to be my life partner.
So which is it?
My mom, who will certainly pass away within a year or two OR my husband, who I hope to have at least 20-25 years more with.

If the spoiling doesn't work with hubby I'm afraid I'd say look around for a good assisted living facility for your father before your husband is out the door, (unless that would be the better option. 😉 )

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