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Grammi55 Asked November 2017

Dad is in a skilled nursing home and mom will not let me see him. We have been estranged for 8 yrs and she refuses to speak to or see me. Any suggestions?

She’s his surrogate and what she says goes as far as home is concerned.

jeannegibbs Nov 2017
Grammi55, do you mean you are estranged from Mom, or from Dad (or both)? How much have you seen Dad in the last 8 years?

If Mom has Medical POA (Healthcare proxy, Surrogate), then she controls medical decisions, like would it be good for my husband to see his daughter.

Perhaps you can negotiate through the NH social worker. Tell them that you are willing to see Dad in a community space, and with supervision, for a specified length of time. You will leave immediately if Dad gets upset about the visit. They can talk this over with Mom (since she isn't talking to you.)

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