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Beeanne Asked October 2017

my husband has parkinsons disease with dementia, he get combative at times, had a stroke and is now in a nursing home for rehab, although

he is being discharged possible soon, I don't know if I can deal with his anger and combative any more as I have done it now for 3 years. my girls thing I should let him come home and take care of him. They work, I have no life and have to watch him day and night as he will wonder out side, so have to be alert all the time. Can't afford to hire in home care. He really needs to be in a nursing home full time.

Katiekate Oct 2017
With the knock on effects of stroke, you will be very hard pressed to provide care for him.

What a stroke victim looses in stroke can be very profound! Not all damage is obvious. I doubt you can handle this along with all the other issues he already had before the stroke, it would be an impossible situation.

Yes, get him into a nursing home. Work with social service department in the hospital. Do not allow them to discharge to your home, stand you ground ... you cannot take care of him.
It is the responsibility of that social service department to find appropriate situation for him...do not let them guilt you into takingnhim, you cannot provide appropriate care.

gladimhere Oct 2017
What Jeanne said is exactly right. It is not an easy decision especially when your daughters do not agree. But, it is the right decision for hubby that will receive care from pros that do not put in the excruciating hours that you do. They are able to take care of themselves on their off work hours. It is also best for you to have time to do the things that you enjoy and care for yourself while monitoring your hubby's care.

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jeannegibbs Oct 2017
Since he really needs to be in a nursing home full time, the most loving thing you can do is arrange for that to happen.

gladimhere Oct 2017
You are the one providing the care, you need to care for yourself too. It sounds very difficult to provide care for him. You need to establish boundaries with your daughters. Be honest with them, and tell them you will not care for him at home any longer. Then tell rehab he requires more care than you can provide. The social worker will assist in finding permanent placement for him. And there is nothing for you to feel guilty about. You have done this by yourself for too long. Time to take care of you.

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