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Seaview Asked September 2017

My husband is glued to his iPad and lying on the bed while I mow the lawn, etc. What should I do?

My husband is glued to his iPad watching movies from daylight till dark everyday!! Lying on the bed while I mow the lawn, etc. Help please what should I do?

GardenArtist Sep 2017
Seaview, Internet Addiction is real, and I believe may already have been added to the DSM as such. It occurs with people regardless of any physical disease. And it gets worse, not better.

As others have written, I think you need to either get him some psychiatric help, or help from someone knowledgeable and who treats Internet addiction, or think about how long and/or if you want to stay in this marriage.

If he was a gambler before, that's a good indication that he probably has an addictive personality. "His lot of mess has made him addicted to computers " - I'm not sure what this is or means, but I'm also not sure it's made him addicted to anything. Something else "made" him addicted, and it isn't going to be resolved spontaneously.

How much money did he waste when he was addicted to gambling? Do you want any of your money to be wasted if he segues back to that? Does he work or just stay home all day?

Countrygirl3 Sep 2017
From experience, the iPad sounds better than gambling..What meds helped him quit gambling?? Is he physically able to help you around the house? ...if he is able to help but won't, maybe headphones could get him outside...

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cetude Sep 2017
You may want to consider ending the marriage unless you want to be his permanent caregiver and do everything for him including cleaning up his diapers.  Seriously. Think about that.

jeannegibbs Sep 2017
If he has an addictive personality, I guess it could be worse than an iPad. But his obsession with the electronic device seems to be unhealthy for his marriage and for the progression of the disease. I understand that exercise can be very useful in managing Parkinson's. Is he being followed by a Parkinson's specialist? Perhaps a specialty clinic? You need to talk to an expert together to come up with a care plan that encourages him to be more active. And seeing a couples counselor might make sense at this point.

A high percentage of Parkinson patients develop dementia. (Not all, but many.) Are there any signs of that with your husband?

The Michael J Fox Foundation website has a treasure trove of information, encouragement, and suggestions. Do you use that site? It doesn't replace an expert doctor, but it can be very helpful.

I am so sorry you entered this marriage without fully realizing what the disease entailed and how it progresses.

Please keep in touch here, and let us know how things are going.

BarbBrooklyn Sep 2017
Seaview, perhaps it is time to consider all your options.

1. Talk to his doctors about possible computer addiction.
2. Replace the lawn with low maintenance greenery
3. Think about moving to a place with no lawn and little maintenance.
4. Think about if you want to continue in this marriage.

Seaview Sep 2017
Thanks for your reply. I have only been married for 2 and a half years but he has had Parkinson's for 8.. he did tell me when we met 4 years ago but I didn't fully understand the disease which has progressed since being married. He used to gamble a lot before he changed his medication but his lot of mess has made him addicted to computers not the pokies I suppose is better than losing money...

cdnreader Sep 2017
Dear Seaview,

From your profile it says your husband has Parkinson's disease. If you are concerned about his addiction to the iPad, I would try to talk to his doctor. If you are overwhelmed with the housework and yard work, I would try seek out additional resources through the community or church. Another option would be to talk to a social worker about all your options.

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