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KellyJ17 Asked August 2017

Can I get a power of attorney for my mother even if she is currently married?

How would I procure a power of attorney for my mother? They live in Louisiana... if that matters which is community property state? Also, if her husband is not providing her with adequate care what can I do from a legal standpoint to protect her financial matters as well as her well being?

KellyJ17 Aug 2017
I have considered your suggestions on the best way to resolve the financial solution problems and will manage to resolve this issue. There are many ways to establish a sole account especially with the advancement of technology..she is aware now that he is taking the funds...and this is her income from her retirement and social security..so he may have access upon her death but at least if she establishes as a sole account he does not have access to it presently....and by law he is entitled to her social security money when she dies..if there is money left in the account...social security will cease upon her death. She has early signs of dementia based on the four question her primary doctor asked...if you call that a real medical test...but if that is the case then her husband also has dementia...so I would say they are in the same boat...I hope that wherever he has put the money it is in a safe place, maybe a SD box...but she is not on the account which could be a problem in the future...it's just a mess and unfortunate that she is going through this at this time in her life...no one should be mislead about their finances...I would say that she is not being cared for in the proper loving way she should be.  It is very sad.  Thank you for responding and offering your suggestions about the elder attorney...I have already procured a few attorney names.

GardenArtist Aug 2017
I like Jeanne's idea of going to the bank and withdrawing her funds to be placed in a new account, but I'd consider speaking with an estate planning or elder law attorney as to whether it should be in her name only if community property would allow her husband access at her death.

However, your profile states she has dementia, so that might be an issue in setting up a new account. I'm also wondering if she's aware what he's doing with the assets.

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jeannegibbs Aug 2017
I agree that consulting an attorney who specializes in Elder Law would be a great idea.

Have you considered taking Mom to the bank, helping her withdraw most of the remaining funds, and opening a new account in her name only? Would she go for that? Perhaps this is an option you can talk about with the lawyer.

KellyJ17 Aug 2017
Yes, I think that would be in her best interest. Thank you for your help.

jjariz Aug 2017
Perhaps you should talk to an Eldercare Attorney

KellyJ17 Aug 2017
My mother should not have to go through this at her age and with the medical issues she has..she deserves better treatment than this...just because you are married does not give you the right to mistreat and abuse your spouse, lie, steal and do whatever you feel is in your selfish interest...yes there have been several people to witness the way he is treating her..and he thinks he is doing nothing wrong...He is absolutely lost his mind.

He is emotionally black mailing her by threatening divorce, selling their current home and splitting the money...the money that is left should be hers outright since he has already taken over half of what was in the bank account..just because it's a joint account does not make it right...might be legal in LA  (Community property state) but does not make it right..
Nor is it right for him to physically and emotionally abuse me by threatening to evict me from the home...yes I live with them and they own the home together...but he is not capable of taking care of her...and I am not going to be a party to his his emotional and physical blackmail.  He is 6 children that he can abuse...pick anyone of them...just leave me alone...the problem is they do not want to step up to the plate and take care of him...they think everything is just fine..because he is not honest with them about his health...so the lies continue to go on and so does the withrawing of the money...when it's gone what will happen to my mother.????

Any advice you can offer or suggest would be most helpful.

Thanks.  A concerned daughter who does not where to turn anymore...my plate is so full.

KellyJ17 Aug 2017
It should not be a problem but if her husband convinces her do do otherwise ...then it could be a problem..he is very convincing when he wants to be...since he has been withdrawing huge sums of money without her consent or approval I would say that he does not have her best interest at heart...it seems he is more interested in leaving the money to his children by another marriage..and they are all above the age of 50. The issue is not about leaving the money to any of the POD's as noted on the account...the issue will there be any money left...if he keeps moving it to ??????? that's a problem...if she is left without anything for her future health care expenses.....since he is constantly emotionally blackmail her...I see this is a big problem..if he can convince her..not to sign the POA... His personality and character is leaving a lot to be desired.

jeannegibbs Aug 2017
Why will it be a problem for Mother to grant you POA?

KellyJ17 Aug 2017
Yes, I have discussed the financial and health issues with her and she is aware of what is going on...and we are working on resolving those issues. No, I have not contacted the police but nothing is out of the question at this point. And I am working on resolving the health care issues as best I can. I understand that she has to grant me the authority of the POA which could be a problem...so I am doing the best I can to protect her health and her financial future from anyone who may wish to take advantage of her...and is just a very sad situation at this point in her life.

Thanks for responding and providing me with input...all input is valuable at this time.

GardenArtist Aug 2017
Cathy, you can't "procure" proxy authority under a POA. Your mother has to grant it to you. Have you spoken with her about this? What evidence do you have that her husband is not properly caring for her? Have you contacted APS to visit the home?

If you feel, and have evidence of improper financial management or of financial abuse by her husband (I assume he's not your father), have you spoken with police about this, and about whether there are specific charges that could apply?

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