How can I keep my husband from charging and making unnecessary purchases?

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chill47 Asked July 2017

How can I keep my husband from charging and making unnecessary purchases?

My husband was diagnosed with Lewy Body Dementia. I have had to take over the finances due to the fact that he put is in serious financial crisis. I have all the credit cards, but he can still go to any store and say he forgot his card, and they can bring up his account and make his purchase. I have called the credit card companies and have gone to the stores he usually goes to, but no one seems willing to help me. I have shown them my DPOA that covers financial, as well as a letter from this Dr. regarding his mental decline. The stores and banks don't seem to care, they seem like they want you to get in debt up to your eyeballs, so then they can harass you with letters and phone calls for not being able to pay your bills. I need help, but no one seems interested in helping. Does anyone have any suggestions?

Financial Planning

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score 9 · Answer 1

I guess I would close all of the accounts that you have jointly and then open new accounts in just your name.

Give him a debit card with a fixed amount of cash each month, say $50.

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score 7 · Answer 2

Don't underestimate the power of returning many of the things he buys.
Will he forget?

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score 5 · Answer 3

Yes, Barb!
Then, stop banking online where he can log into. Hide all your information from him.
File a security freeze regularly (lasts 90 days), and change your passwords often.
Open a P.O. Box and forward all your banking.

Buy gift cards, Amazon cards, Starbucks cards for his use, give him a little cash regularly without him asking. Buy them at the store, not online. He may still balk, but you are doing everything you can for him. Be generous, consistent, and kind.

Still, you will be viewed as the bad guy, so Chill!

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score 5 · Answer 4

Have your attorney write a letter to inform the stores that are letting him charge that they need to close those accounts and they any charges allow after that date for purchase made by your husband will not be your responsibility to pay.

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score 4 · Answer 5

Very tough situation indeed. I agree with closing all of the charge accounts and, until the accounts are closed, returning what he buys. Give him some pocket money. I would avoid all "plastic" because, once a person loses track of finances, they may not comprehend that a gift card doesn't cover the price of a purchase, which may cause a scene at the register.

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score 2 · Answer 6

I opened a separate debit card account with just a small amount of $ for my hubby with LBD. I It worked at first, but then he would forget his password. Finally got to the point where he couldn't remember what to do next. So, I ended up closing that account. Now I just give him access to a certain amount of cash so he won't feel completely de-humanized. Even now I have to look over his shoulder to see that he is getting the correct bill from his wallet when paying for something.

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score 1 · Answer 7

If you still need the cards for yourself, call the companies and tell them that you have lost the cards and let them send you cards with a new account number - and keep them in your possession.
Set up an account with a few hundred, with a debit card. If he has memory problems he will likely forget the pin number anyway - this is why he is using the credit card as a debit - he doesn't have to remember any numbers with the credit card.

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score 1 · Answer 8

How is he getting there? Should he be driving? Have the DMV give him a driving test. Other than that i like all the above answers

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score 0 · Answer 9

https://www.agingcare.com/articles/new-debit-card-offers-elders-safer-way-to-pay-161211.htm

For once you get all those accounts worked out... really been a boon to my peace of mind.

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score 0 · Answer 10

When the new cards came in the mail, I shredded his.
omg, I am a terrible person, dancing as fast as I can.
The guilt, the imbalance has me allowing him benefits above and beyond his share or what he earns!
So, that if I had a rep-payee like he does, the rep-payee would never allow my Soc.Sec.
to be used for his benefit. My bad.
That is why I have called dH a "wide receiver of life".
It seems that I am too soft, an easy mark, subject to being used.
I see this as my fault.
Reviewing our marital budget A G A I N !

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How can I keep my husband from charging and making unnecessary purchases?

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