What do I need to do to get my mom put into a care home?

Kerrichris,
What state are you located? I wonder if this form that you are describing is a state form that is required by most Assisted Living facilities, that list the daily needs of the patient. I know that in my state (NC), it's called an FL2. You can find it online. I'm not sure if other states have similar forms. It's needed to place residents into an Assisted Living or Memory Care Assisted Living. All of the AL and Memory Care facilities that I spoke with knew about this form and told me it had to be completed by a doctor and signed for them to process the application for admittance. So, I might check with the facility you are considering and ask them about it. It's important that there be input from the family when the doctor completes the form, since, mom may tell the doctor that she can bathe, cook, take medication on her own, and that her needs are small, when in reality, none of that is true.

Also, I agree about having your mom checked by her doctor regarding her recent behavior. Any change in mental status should be reported to her doctor to rule out other things, like infections. And, if she is depressed, overly anxious, or suffering from mental distress, you might ask about a geriatric psychiatrist. I might explore medication, which may help. It helped my LO quite a bit.

kerrichris, also have your Mom see her primary doctor to see if she has a Urinary Tract Infection as that can mimic dementia, and cause major mood swings. The test is quite easy, and antibiotics are used for treatment.

You may be correct, that you mom needs a higher level of care than you can give her at home.

But if the issue is her being confrontational, and not the physical burden of caregiving ( lifting, shifting, changing) then you might want to consider having her seen by a geriatric psychiatrist.

Psychiatric meds can sometimes do wonders in easing the anxiety and agitation that dementia patients are experiencing.

To get your mom admitted to a care home ask her doc to write an order. They cannot just be put there. Dementia progresses at different rates for different people. If doc considers mom incompetent this should not be a problem to get the necessary documentation. Is your POA "standing" (valid anytime) or "springing" (requires one or more doctors to determine she is incapacitated). People if not incapacitated have the right to decide where they want to live and refuse to live where they do not want to live.