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jna6777 Asked May 2017

Do dementia patients always forget you?

Sendhelp May 2017
If they do forget, MsMadge,
They will probably call you sweetie PIE!!

Or, Hi pumpkin!

MsMadge May 2017
There are a couple of residents at mom's facility that even know my name
They are either not far along in the disease or they've heard mom say repeatedly where's MsMadge ? That they know me through mere repetition

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mterpin1 May 2017
I was thinking about this topic just this morning. Looking back I remember that in 2013, both parents told me that they didn't know me very well. The symptoms of Alz and Dementia were not that bad at the time. I tried to minimize it due to my mothers narcissism. You can never really know anyone very well when you never give them the opportunity to speak, but that said, it was still hurtful to hear, especially coming from both of them at the same time.

These days, I can see that my Father recognizes me, but it may be that I'm just familiar face, still it warms my heart that I still matter to him.

anonymous326422 May 2017
I think the form of dementia makes a difference too. My grandpa didn't forget any of us, and we know others who had a really hard time with short term memory and activities, but did not forget loved ones.  He did have a moment now and then where he'd get mixed up -- he'd know who we were but forget how we were related to him (or maybe forget the word for it?) 

freqflyer May 2017
jna, I think it varies from case to case. I was always happy whenever I would walk into my Mom's nursing home room or see her in the common area that she would smile and use my name....

Until one day an Aide, who was half my age, came in and my Mom called her by my name.... the name tag was different. Then and only then did I realize that Mom didn't know who I was, but she did remember "the name". It was sad, but I knew it was the dementia doing the talking :(

Grammyteacher May 2017
I am not sure if my mom "knows me" as in that I am her daughter, so-n'so. But she always recognizes me as someone familiar and someone who cares for her. She also always recognizes my husband and her husband. Names have been gone for a long time. When I go in her room in the morning, I say good morning Mama...sometimes she doesn't respond and I say good morning and use her name. I always follow my greeting with "I am your daughter, ..." I think there is some recognition inside. I left her with my niece in law, a CNA, overnight while I went to my son's university graduation. She had a difficult time without our familiar faces, even though she was in her environment with her schedule the same. I guess that means she knows me a bit 😁

geewiz May 2017
Not always but try to help them along. Each time I visited my Mom, I said 'Hi Mom it's me (name). In the beginning she always said, I know who you are, but as time passed, she left that out. At times, I think she thought I was her (long gone) sister. But she always greeted me with a big smile and the warmth shown to someone she cared about. Don't worry about the names. The most important fact is that she is with someone she loves who loves her in return.

lizzywho61 May 2017
One day my Mom told me she liked my haircut. She went on to tell me my haircut was just like her daughter...me. So, had she forgotten me? No. But things were very mixed up. Sometimes I felt like she knew me but wasn't sure who I was if that makes sense.

Others will be along with their experiences soon.

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