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bloomschool Asked March 2017

Is this weird?

You know, after my mother passed. The next morning I thought, well, maybe they had the wrong person, because I had called up the nursing home once and they had my mother confused with somebody else. So last night I was thinking, I wonder if my mother is still alive. It was a closed casket gravesite burial, since I am the only family basically. So I started to doubt if my mother was dead! Is this a part of grieving? Thanks.

ASusan48 Mar 2017
It's very normal. I had an in-law who insisted on asking the funeral director if their father was really, truly dead when they prepared his body for the funeral. It just shows the depth that the grief goes at that point - your mind will often grasp at any small thing to try to make the reality seem fake, because you don't want it to be true.

Take your time, and grieve at your own pace. Don't let anyone tell you that you need to "get over it" - this is a process that happens differently for everyone.

pamstegma Mar 2017
It is totally normal. It is also the reason for 3 day wakes, because it takes that long for it all to sink in. You will get better in time.

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golden23 Mar 2017
Yes, it is normal, bloom. It is part of the denial we go through when we lose someone. After my son died, many times I saw young men who I thought, momentarily, were him. Once I "saw him" him a car with Saskatchewan plates and immediately I thought -"That's where he has been all this time ( 3 years) - in Saskatchewan. Of course, right away I knew it wasn't him - the mind plays tricks on us. (((((((hugs))))))

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