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dgillygal Asked March 2017

Should I have my mother update her will and POAs?

My mother and father both did their wills and POAs several years ago. Since we were a small family, both mom and dad named each other in their wills and POAs with me as secondary (I'm an only child) on all. My father is now deceased, and my mother lives with me. She was recently diagnosed with mild dementia and has short-term memory issues from that and a mild stroke 8 years ago. My question is, should I have her update her will and POAs while she still has the mental capacity naming me as primary, or will her originals (which name me as secondary after my dad) be ok? Thanks for all suggestions!

dgillygal Mar 2017
Thank you so much, everyone, for the thoughts. I tend to agree with you all that I should have Mom update everything. I think I will make an appointment with an attorney as soon as possible. Thanks again!

97yroldmom Mar 2017
I agree with FF. I had POA with a cousin as second for my aunt. Cousin died so she updated the paperwork. I was really glad we still could.

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freqflyer Mar 2017
dgillygal, I would recommend that your Mom update her Will and Power of Attorney as State laws are changing all the time. Yes, do the changes while Mom still has times when she thinks clearly. I remember taking my Dad to his Elder Law Attorney in the morning, when his mind was a bit sharper to make changes after my Mom had passed.

Then with the new Will your Mom could add a second person to be Executor, and a second to the Power of Attorney.... like what if something happens to you? I know, all these "what ifs" but we need to have all our bases covered.

I am also an only child, with no children, so the Attorney was named to be secondary in the Will and for the financial Power of Attorney. Finding a secondary for the medical Power of Attorney wasn't easy.

cwillie Mar 2017
I was POA jointly with my brother who passed away and have been able to act since he has been gone without making any changes, however I've had to produce a death certificate when I sold mom's property which was a bit of a p.i.t.a** at the time. I think you need to balance the need to dot all your i's and cross all your t's with the degree of difficulty there may be in getting things updated, newer may be better but if not practical then what she has will probably serve the purpose (unless, of course, she wants to make changes).

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