Unfortunately, for my mom, the only successful answer was medication. She began being verbally abusive almost two years ago. First it was only directed at me, next at the staff at her AL and then toward other residents. I resisted the meds for a while, but redirecting didn't work. Then she began acting out physically by throwing things, hitting and kicking. It was impossible to determine what would set her off. She was started on some meds, and although it took several months and a couple of adjustments, she is now much more calm. I'm still not a fan of the drugs, but sometimes they are the best or only option.
Some people with dementia do get very aggressive. Is he just verbally aggressive or physically aggressive? The verbal aggression may come from misunderstanding what is going on and the loss of filters that keep him from saying certain things. I suspect that the aggression from dementia often arises out of fear and confusion. They blame it on what is going on around them. Are there some places that trigger these behaviors and others that he handles well? I think I would stick to the safe areas.
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