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Pattijean Asked November 2016

Are there alternatives for Mom having her diaper changed in bed?

My mom is 102 and has been in a nursing home since February. The staff decided for safety sake that when my mom arrived she was not allowed to walk anymore due to a pressure wound so she became wheelchair ridden. Since she couldn't walk they would use a lift to take her to the bathroom. She would be toileted about 4 times a day. Over the last 2 months or so, she has become combative when being lifted to the bathroom and cries because the lift hurts her. So the very last shred of dignity has been taken away from her and they are now lifting her onto the bed with a type of hammock. The will no longer take her to the toilet. They change her diaper on the bed as if she is a baby when it is dirty. My mom is traumatized by this. She is aware of what is happening and she is inconsolable after this. Yesterday it took my sister and I almost 2 hours to calm her down and promise no more dirty diapers. Has anyone else have any experience with this? It is tearing us all apart.

pamstegma Nov 2016
I am familiar with a patient who has severe osteoporosis and the hoyer lift sling both terrifies her and causes pain. Unfortunately, bed changes are the only other option. If she is screaming in terror, get a calming medication. If she is screaming in pain, get the pain meds increased. Please don't hold back on the meds.

Veronica91 Nov 2016
First of all is she too heavy for 2 people to manage comfortably? If not a bedside comode may be the answer. Try not to promise things you can not guarantee won't happen because she will loose her trust in you. Can one of you be there 24/7 to care for her or hire a private caregiver to come in to help.
Why can't she walk or even just stand and pivot ?
I am sure at 102 being exposed like that is very traumatic but at least they are making the effort to keep her clean which is a big plus. I am sure you can solve this to Mom's satisfaction. When we are old or ill we have to get used to many things we would rather not but that's life.
With Mom at 102 I am sure you and your sister are also senior citizen and you see things you would not personally want to endure.
Last year in the hospital I was totally incontinent for a while and needed frequent changes of bed as they used pads not diapers and I soon got used to it even if it was a male Aide. Glad to say that problem got better as I got stronger but it can happen to anyone. I am 77 by the way and feel i have stripped naked more times than a professional stripper!!!!!!!!!!

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