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brendav Asked July 2016

my siblings have decided we have to sell my mother's house but our brother disagrees. What should we do?

BarbBrooklyn Aug 2016
Just so you understand, if mom ever needs Medicaid, the money that brother recieves will count as a gift from mom to brother. And it will disqualify her from receiving assistance.

cag103 Aug 2016
jeanneqibbs, I explained to he protesting brother that the finances were not his and that what was being don was for Mom's benefit. The alternative was to put Mom in a nursing home which would lead to the them putting a lean on the property and in the end there would be nothing for him. Sounds cruel, but it got through to him. He then asked for a monetary amount when the house sells that my other brother and I agreed to. Its not much and Mom will be fine without it. You just have to know when to cut your losses and move on to make peace and eliminate as much stress as possible so you can concentrate on what is most important. In my case it is the 24/7 care of my Mother, ALONE! I don't get help from neither brother..

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Sunnygirl1 Aug 2016
Before selling, I would make sure that all the potential consequences are considered after legal advice from an attorney. Also, keep in mind how the paper trail will show how she spent the money for her own needs. Since, if she ever gets into a situation where she needs programs like Medicaid for long term care, they will look back to trace those funds.

jeannegibbs Aug 2016
cag103, were you able to convince the protesting brother? How? Any tips brendav could use?

cag103 Aug 2016
I just went through this. The brother that protested was upset because of financial reasons. I am the one with POA because I am the only one taking care of Mom. The reason for letting go of the house is because I can no longer keep up the house and take care of her at the same time and do not want to have to put her in a nursing home. We moved into an apartment that is small and I can care for her better. The brother that objected wanted to keep the house until Mom passed because he was planning on his portion of the income for his retirement. You do what is right for your parent. It is their possession. They worked for it in order for it to take care of them in their elder years.

jeannegibbs Aug 2016
It is good to get everyone on board. Make that attempt. But ultimately the person with the POA has to act. That is what Mother appointed him to do.

BarbBrooklyn Aug 2016
I take it from your profile that mom is already in Assisted living and the funds from the house will fund that. Do you know what brother's objections are? As CW suggests, have him come up with a proposal. With numbers.

cwillie Aug 2016
So ask him to write up a formal proposal on keeping the house, detailing his reasoning, costing it out etc, you can do the same with you proposal to sell. If he has a viable point you can consider it, if he is just stalling because he just has an emotional attachment it will be apparent to everyone.

brendav Aug 2016
A different (oldest) brother has POA, we know he can sign for selling the house. We just hope to get our younger brother on board.

BarbBrooklyn Jul 2016
Who has PoA?

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