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It is a tough time around the house now. People who know me probably know that my mother is one of the mean ones on the group. Her meanness has been almost completely replaced by confusion now. She can't figure out if she is hot or cold. She has forgotten how to give herself insulin shots. She is talking about her childhood almost exclusively, instead of anything that is going on around her. She is forgetting that she had her insulin and thinks she should take more.

We have a lot of workman that will be around the house soon. I'm sure that all my business dealings with them have not made her any calmer. I've tried to cut her out of most of the dealings, but it makes her anxious not to be in control. She worries a lot and gets stuck in loops.

I am adding a trip to the doctor this week to test for a UTI. There are no symptoms of one, but I wouldn't want to let it go if that is what is causing so much confusion. I feel so bad for her, because she is trying so hard to keep it together. Her brain is just not cooperating.

Not question here. I just needed to talk about what is going on with her. I've wondered if it is UTI, if she had TIAs, or if a bit of Alz had joined her other dementia. It is such a guessing game at times when it comes to dementia.

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JessieBelle sorry to hear about your mother. Dehydration could very well be the cause of her confusion. Its so sad that lack of meaness is an alarm. I am often in the same boat only I see cycles with my mother and lots of times it has come behind some crazy notion or belief that I have done something and I get due punishment. I tell you when that happens It hurts so bad, it tears me apart on inside because the lengths and types of retaliation is so deep. It is very clear that she means to hurt me. So I understand you feeling off when the mean is off. Only thing is that this has been a norm before my mother was elderly. Its not dementia its part of her spirit. My sister has same demeaner only. I find that it better not to have conversation or ask the reason or ask anything. As she ages I learn that I have never been able to communicate with my mother. The other painful thing is the acusations and I have gained the wisdo not to feed into the questions and statements because it just leads to ugly and I will never get closure or get her to see her wrong. She is never wrong and has never apologized for anything to me. I can imagine your concern when she is down or deteriorating in one sense or another. I feel the same way. I understand you when you speak of the life force. I know I get scared sometimes to see her dosing more and more and then next thing you know she has done some major change in house or put up curtains. God only knows the time we cross over. I would continue to push water at least she listens to you. I can only suggest to my mother. If I give her water and not in bottle she wont drink it anything lol. Well you are in my thoughts an my heart is with you.
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I don't have any suggestions, I just want to send you {{{{{{hugs}}}}}}. I hope you can get her settled down and less confused and agitated about it.
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Thanks, everyone. My mother's life force is still so strong, even though her body is tattered. I get shocked whenever I see her bent and slow frame. It's like she is barely hanging on physicially. But her life force is still strong with her. It doesn't seem that death is near unless something catastrophic happens.

The confusion does bother me a lot, because confused people can end up doing things that aren't so good. I'll have to watch her carefully to make sure she's doing things right. I have gotten good at watching while acting like I'm not.

I also remembered she took Lasix four days last week for her swollen legs. That may have something to do with the confusion. I asked her to drink extra water today to see if she felt better. We also went to Captain D's for lunch -- something she loves. She perked up munching in to the crunchy fish. It felt good to see her enjoy something. KFC had gotten old.
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Hey JessieBelle- I'm sorry to hear your having to go through this. My mom has also changed quite a bit recently. It's crazy that a lack of being mean is cause for worry, huh? I got to thinking about it and the last time my mom took a good dig at me was the end of May! Now my mom is sleeping more than ever - when she is "awake"
she is pretty unresponsive, just sits there and if it's a "good day" I might get a smile or a few words. Usually mom makes more of an effort with my brother but even he is concerned - called me about two weeks ago when he had his first visit without mom attempting a single word. When mom is awake it appears like a wake/sleep thing with her nodding off every few minutes- or she's just closing her eyes, I honestly can't tell. I met with the hospice dr Thursday and she said things are "as expected" at this point. Still this change has been enough for me to reactive my anti anxiety meds. Friday I picked up my rx and got stuck in traffic - it was 97 degrees out - at least the car has air conditioning but still I couldn't muster up the strength, desire, need...whatever - to do my usual Friday visit. I found myself thinking "what's the point"? I'm pretty sure mom didn't notice. I know it's wrong to think that way and I've since kicked my own butt into a better attitude- but still..? Anyhoo - sorry to vent on you when your struggling. I know you know what needs to be checked from a medical stand point and once things are ruled out if your mom is the same - maybe it will be just a new "normal". Anyhow - I'm sorry. Nothing about this journey ever seems to be easy - and that sucks to beyond an exhausting degree. As usual I am questioning if there is some higher purpose to this all - I'd like to think so.
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Jessie, is your mother really aware of the workmen and their upcoming activities? Was she present when you interviewed them and got estimates? If she does understand that her private home spaces will be invaded, I would think that would a strong factor in her confusion, as well as the possibility of a UTI.

It's tough enough to have strangers working in one's house but with older age, it's even more upsetting. I don't know whether to suggest spreading out the work or getting it all done and over with so you can both move on.
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(((((Jessie)))))

I'm sorry to hear that your mom's confusion is worsening. I think it's a good idea to rule out other conditions.
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Aw, Jesse, I'm so sorry things are going is this direction. It may just be the workman. Even in the NH, if there is work going on, or even if there are two men together in suits in the hallway, my mom sees disaster! ((((((Hugs))))))
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