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niyah321oki Asked June 2016

How do people handle food and gas costs as a caregiver to parent?

My mother passed, but I was just wondering about gas and food. My Mom paid for some of her own food while I was taking care of her in my home, but I would foot the bill for a lot of her groceries and always for gas. I have siblings who did not contribute. I feel okay about it all now, but wonder if anyone felt like I did. It felt so strange asking her to reimburse for food and gas, since she paid for so much food and gas while raising me. I know sometimes we just need all hands on deck helping financially, so it can be a necessity to ask our parents to help. Still, I felt it was for me to give back to her. Especially, food. Any thoughts.

niyah321oki Jun 2016
Thanks to both of you. Very helpful, Jessie Belle, you hit the issue head on about approach and separating out the childhood experience.

JessieBelle Jun 2016
That is a complicated question for me. My mother has the house and pays the power, gas, TV, and her phone. I have the car and pay maintenance on it. I pay for my phone and computer service. We both pay for food. We end up spending about equal each month. I do not approach finances with the idea that my parents paid for me as a child, since I had no money then. I approach it with the idea that we are both adults now, each with our own money. It really wouldn't make sense for me to pay everything so that there would be more money to split among her 4 heirs, 3 which have contributed in no way to my parents' care.

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pamzimmrrt Jun 2016
My mom pitches in alot.. for gas and food. And I don;t feel guilty. I am taking care of her, and she is happy to help. Guess it depends on the family

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