Siblings got guardian ad litem who did not recognize my moms rapidly progressing dementia. Now what?

Okay. Can I run through what I understand of the background? Then you can correct / fill any gaps.

Your mother lived with her Significant Other. For how long? His house, her house, or theirs jointly? His five children have long since left home. Then five years ago you move in and begin taking care of your mother: was the SO still a fixture then? When did he move into rehab/NH?

Are they your mother's or your siblings, the three?

I can imagine due notification of court proceedings going astray; and if you say you weren't notified, then you weren't. It happens. But you must since then have seen documentation: what reasons were given for the application for guardianship?

What I'd like to understand better is whether the extended family has become unhappy about some aspect of your involvement in your mother's care; or whether it's got nothing to do with you and the application for guardianship has been made on its own merits, to get matters in order.

What position have you been left in? Are you still able to live in your mother's home and care for her? How are you managing your own needs and life in general?

Bird you need an attorney.

Gladimhere I was not notified of court hearings, and I cared for mother for five plus years, her phone calls and mine were not heeded. No one offered help at all.

Babalou....my Mother told me. She is only clueless about this guardin and court business, she can't comprehend it.

Churchmouse.... Siblings, 3, plus unmarried significant other, ( he was already in nursing home/rehab ) plus his 5 kids applied for gaurdianship, judge threw all of it out but called for ad litem, but she mostly does child custody. I had not seen. these folks from 7-30 yrs. I was Moms caregiver for over five yrs. everybody in town knows it. Plus, the two sets of siblings never had even met, prior. Now they claim they r best friends.

Pam Stegma I never got papers from court, Moms attny, or anyone.
I WAS POA

Retain an elder law attorney.

The most common reason a POA loses their authority is 1. Failure to keep financial records. For example, using mom's debit card and not keeping the receipt to prove it was for her. 2. Paying themselves for care without some kind of written contract in place. Even cost sharing rent etc. must have a written contract. Without that the court sees a "conflict of interest" and removes the POA.

Catneal, losing control to a guardian? Any guardian worth a dime would at least try to work with the family before making decisions. Sometimes there are families that are so dysfunctional even impartial assistance does not solve issues. Then there is no choice left but for guardian to carry out the tasks assigned them by the court.

Socwio is so right on this matter. A family member should always be designated as POA and guardian with another family member as back up. When state appointed guardians enter the scenario, the family loses all say in oversight of their parent's care. An elder law attorney can set up the necessary documents to establish family control of your mother's care and estate. Sounds like Mom's attorney is trying to take advantage of his position to wrest control of her situation to his advantage. If your siblings think it is to their advantage to go this route, I fear they will be sorely disappointed when the state appointed guardian leaves them with nothing to inherit and your mother suffers from lack of proper care.

Something doesn't sound quite right. If you are the only daughter in the state, one block away, etc. as you have disclosed it seems like you would be a good candidate for keeping an eye on your mother. If your siblings and your mother's attorney removed your POA they must have had a reason for doing so. If your mother has a large financial estate then that could be the motivation for taking such actions--especially if they weren't well thought out. Perhaps they felt you were mismanaging your mother's finances or her care. Whatever the case may be you and your siblings need to get on the same page. Someone needs to be appointed as your mother's guardian and if at all possible it should be a family member. I've seen the wealth of elders wiped out because siblings couldn't agree on things and the courts appointed an attorney as guardian over the finances/estate. Of course they pay themselves generously for their services. I knew of one family this happened to and guardianship of the loved one's estate was not returned until the bulk of her money was gone--expended in legal fees and the monthly cost of an attorney serving as guardian of the estate. So get your siblings together, enlist the services of a third neutral party (maybe a clergyman) who can help you reach an agreement on how your mother's estate and personal care will be handled. Your mother's estate and personal care should be in the hands of her responsible children--not some stranger who may only see it as a job. I'm not knocking attorneys and the court system, but in some areas guardianship appointments have been fraught with all kinds of abuse. Good luck!

You need to see an elder law attorney unless you want someone else appointed to seeover your mom. The guardian ad litem will be mom's advocate. Are you also caring for mom? Work with the GAL, their job is to help determine what is best for Mom, which may or may not be you. If you do not cooperate with GAL you will not be helping your own situation. Your POA's cannot be taken away without a court hearing where yoy have been notified of the proceedings.

It sounds as though your siblings are trying to get guardianship of your mom. The guardian ad litem and attorney guarantee that mom's interests are represented during the guardianship hearing.

Who told you that siblings are telling mom that you don't want to see her? Who are you talking to about this?

If your mother's rapidly progressing dementia was not recognised, on what grounds was a guardian ad litem appointed?

Guardian Ad Litem is an attorney appointed to represent the patient during the hearing. It is never either opposing party. Read those papers again.