Is it ever okay to tell your loved one with dementia that they are not the only ones who can't do things?
I wait on him hand and foot, do all of the chores, bookwork, etc., etc. I would love to be able to go on a short trip with someone other than him. He complains because he can't do things!
You should get away when you can, and too bad if he doesn't like it! I understand how you feel!
Can you give him chores he can do? I make DH scrub the teacups, and anything else he can do sitting down. Can he walk? Get him to get his own glass of water or something at least once a day. It makes me feel better when he's not just sitting there giving me orders.
Resentment - which I understand and share - makes it hard for you to tell when you are being mean and when you are being reasonable. It is good for him to make him do what he can. Upping your level of compassion will make it easier for you to do what you HAVE to do with less resentment.
Yes, they do complain. Do it anyway. Mom and dad make endless demands due to dementia. I just politely say I'm tired, or I softly tell them, please make a list. It took me a while to learn. Now I've gotten real good at it.
He sounds depressed. Has he been evaluated for that?
Are you saying that you want to say to him " hey dad, you can5do things because you're old. Look at me. I can't do things because I'm stuck here with you". Do you think his broken brain is going to take that in? Probably not.
Beter to get him evaluated for depression and get yourself some respite. You can't take a trip? Why not?
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Can you give him chores he can do? I make DH scrub the teacups, and anything else he can do sitting down. Can he walk? Get him to get his own glass of water or something at least once a day. It makes me feel better when he's not just sitting there giving me orders.
Resentment - which I understand and share - makes it hard for you to tell when you are being mean and when you are being reasonable. It is good for him to make him do what he can. Upping your level of compassion will make it easier for you to do what you HAVE to do with less resentment.
Get all the help you can, and love yourself.
Mom and dad make endless demands due to dementia.
I just politely say I'm tired, or I softly tell them, please make a list.
It took me a while to learn. Now I've gotten real good at it.
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Are you saying that you want to say to him " hey dad, you can5do things because you're old. Look at me. I can't do things because I'm stuck here with you". Do you think his broken brain is going to take that in? Probably not.
Beter to get him evaluated for depression and get yourself some respite. You can't take a trip? Why not?