Is there a brush/toil that wipe bottoms?

This is in the realm of an OT's practice so she should know or be able to find out.
How idle can some one be? I am referring to the OT not the patient.
Even a long pair of BBQ tongs may be a good place to start. You wrap the paper or wipe around the end of the tongs and then push the free ends between the two pieces and hold the handle firmly while using. Once the handles are released the paper should just fall into the toilet. A small wash cloth or rag can be used to wash with soap and water. Secure a rubber glove over the ends and cream can be applied to the external genital area.
Not a very elegant description I am afraid but you have to be prepared to think out side the box with difficult situations.

Google "faucet bidet" as seen on my picture. Many options available. Personally I like one that has WARM water.

There are several toileting aids/wands available through amazon and elsewhere. There are also bidet type attachments that can wash the person and eliminate the need for wiping, they range from very simple bidet sprayers to thousand dollar toilet seats with heated water and blow dry.