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mema66 Asked February 2016

Husband is rejecting wearing depends. Any advice?

Every afternoon now (sun downing) he wants to take his underwear off and says he doesn't need them anymore. He is incontinent but yells at me and says that I am lying. I have to double up on his Ativan (doctors approval) just to calm him down. I don't know how to convince him that he needs to wear them. It's embarrassing to see him sitting there naked because he takes them off an throws them on the floor.

College Feb 2016
My husband did that for a few months. I would leave the room also and pray for strength and calm my temper. I would go back in with his clean clothes and depends and dress him. Then I would take him for a ride and listen to his music. Music works with him. Other times I would watch his cowboys with him. He is spoiled rotten and needs me to sit with him and hold his hand or rub his back as I pray some more for peace for all of us! What ever you do give him something he wants to do or likes to do. I don't know much about this stuff, it is like raising my three girls. Everyday was a challenge that I am willing to take!

Rainmom Feb 2016
I have a little experience and knowledge of dementia - recently attained. I have a lot of experience with Autism - acquired over 20 years. Almost from the start I notice a number of similarities between the two disorders. If an individual with autism did that - it would be about control. Often there is so little in their world that they have control of - sound familiar? Bathrooming and the surrounding elements of are often the one thing they can control. When my autistic son gets mad or feels he's being over controlled he has an "accident" on purpose. Since your husband is incontenent this behavior might be the next best thing. If he is not 100% incontenent I would say even more so. It's not rational but it is defiant, it gets you worked up and it is in his control. I'm with freqflyer - try your best not to react and leave the room.

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freqflyer Feb 2016
mema66, when your husband does that, just walk out of the room.... no different than a child throwing a tantrum.

pamstegma Feb 2016
Wow. Ativan works fast, but only lasts about 4 hours. If you need something longer acting, ask the MD what he would recommend. Good Luck.

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