What to do with a husband that pees all over the bathroom?

Many memory loss patients have increasing difficulty with activities of daily living. But there are ways to help with capacity for daily life. Dr. Paul Raia of the Alzheimer's Association has helped people solve this problem:

"A principle of habilitative design is that we use color and textural contrast to draw attention to important features of the environment, and we camouflage or hide dangerous or distracting elements of the environment. To illustrate, I was called to a caregiver’s apartment because her husband, a mid-stage Alzheimer's patient, was urinating in a closet.

The problem as I saw it was that the couple had recently moved to a new apartment and he more often than not chose the wrong door when he felt he needed to use the bathroom. In fact, the bathroom and closet doors were adjacent to one another. By painting the bathroom door red, the color automatically drew the gentlemen’s attention and he reliably chose the correct door. However, once in the bathroom he was confronted by white walls and floor, a white sink, toilet, and bathtub. He often would urinate in the bathtub. I instructed the caregiver to purchase a red toilet seat. The problem was solved."

Dr. Raia's approach to solving these problems is important for all of us, and can have a positive effect on everything involving the case of a memory loss patient, including legal planning and how assets and resources are allocated.

Let him him relieve his bladder in the shower/bathtub. Bigger target designed to let liquid flow through. Easier to clean for you, easier for him to reach.

My dad , age 97, just pasted away...i just kept a chlorox spray , paper towels and glvoes nearby...didn't have the heart to tell him...Their self worth and self esteem is already fragile...i just loved him thru it and asked God to help me with my attitude.
So happy i never burdened him with telling him....i just worked on my attitude remembering why i loved him , and remembering all the wonderful years he
was there for me...Yes, they are bascially toddlers again...i miss him so...

One thing I've found is that sometimes they don't "see" the toilet--sometimes the floor, walls and toilet are all white, so they don't see where to aim. Or even just the white toilet seat on the white toilet makes it difficult to aim. One trick I've heard of is to get a darker toilet seat or use a darker colored tape around the rim of the bowl (if he is lifting up the seat)--this way the brain may register that he has to aim inside the ring. I've even heard of people putting a red "X" in tape on the back of the bowl, out of the water level, so there's something to aim at. I know of one woman I work with who was having this issue, and she bought a black toilet seat and her husband stopped peeing everywhere--worked for her, but you know how these things go! I hope you find something that works for you.

Men have been missing toilets ever since they were invented. I have been dealing with splashback and overspray for 44 years. Keep a mop handy.

Hi, We have a disabled adult with vision problems and he cannot hit the toilet 1 out of 10 times. I finally found that cat litter around the toilet (layer of paper towel, then aluminum foil filled with cat litter) gets almost all of of the mess. For the walls, try clear contact paper. It wipes clean. I know everyone says to have them sit, but that does not work for us...like you, the mess just comes out the front and then I have him stepping in it.

I had an elderly friend who actually pooped all over the bathroom, and from what you described it sounds like it's time for a nursing home. There wouldn't be any other place take your loved one other than a nursing home that can give him the help he needs. My elderly friend ended up in a nursing home due to everything that was going on besides this and it just wasn't safe for him to be on his own anymore. Not everyone is cut out to do what only the pros can do, and sometimes you just have to turn for help.

I still work so I'm not always around but I caught him once sitting with it not down. Can you go in there and watch and check like you would potty training a child. After all they are a man child at this point. Hope this helps. I know it difficult.

Would it be helpful to have a device that would give him better aim? I've seen a thing advertised on TV for women where it cups over the crotch and you can aim and direct the flow away from you. I don't know, just trying to think out loud here. Good luck.

I just thought of another idea in addition to the nursing home idea. I don't know how, and elongated toilets are in homes, but if the problem you're facing is actually a minor one, you may want to invest in a bigger toilet so that when the person sits down they have a better chance of getting their business in the toilet.