How do I help my Mother (83) deal with my Father's (87) growing dementia, long distance?

Thanks for your responses - I'm doing alot of research and trying to keep my Mothers spirits up.

Number One, I would say to help your mother obtain a definitive diagnosis that your father has dementia, and that this be put in writing. Call the primary caring physician and work with him/her on this. Then concrete steps can be taken to give your mother the help and relief she needs. Wishing you the best.

I see from your profile that your parents live in Independent Living, thus your Mom probably has met other residents with the same issues.

Have your parents considered having a caregiver to come in for a couple hours each day to help give your Mom a much needed break? Usually Independent Living facilities offer this service for a fee. Someone could watch Dad while Mom joins in the activities.

Dementia caregiving is tough at any age, but more so when the Caregiver [your Mom] is very much a senior citizen herself. A lot depends on your Mom personality... some people hate hearing someone say "just relax" "take a break" as those are things impossible to do. Ask her what can you do to help? Such as you learn all you can about dementia so when Mom is asking why is Dad doing such and such, you can help her with suggestions.

Go to the blue bar near the top of this page... click on "Senior Living"... now click on "Alzheimer's" and scroll down to the articles. Even though Dad has dementia, also read the Alzheimer's articles... lot of good advice that you can pass onto Mom. If she is use to using a computer, have her join this website where she can really open up to what is going on in her life.