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Lillylu Asked May 2015

My Dad has vascular dementia. What else can be expected?

My dad has Vascular dementia and since last one week he got hospitalized.
Current stage :-
1.Feeding thru tube
2.on oxygen
3.he does not recognize any one
4.completely on bed
5. Urine also thru pipe
6.sleep at least 20 hrs

Not sure what else to be expected from him And what would the life expectancy and I don't want him to suffer any more. Don't know what stage he is in & after reading online figure out its last stage. Feel so sad looking at this stage and not sure what they think day & night.

Lillylu Jun 2015
I am so grateful to everyone on this board. Though I have not been here long, it has made a world of difference to me. Because of the information and kindness here, I felt somewhat prepared and comfortable the various painful stages that presented over the past 17 days which I can't forgot all my life time those 15 days Where I was holding his hand 24/7.
Thanks once again for all your support..

Windyridge Jun 2015
It sounds like you dad is very close to the end. Hospice care at home is the best wat to go at this point but if you can't get Medicare or can't pay for hospice care you need to make him as comfortable as possible. If he is in the hospital maybe you should leave him there until the end of life. He will get the care he needs. Dealing with a dying elder at home without hospice or medical help will not be easy. I'm a hospice volunteer and I can attest to how much families appreciate in home hospice care. The most common remark I hear is "I don't know how we could have gotten through this without the help from hospice". Sorry you're going through this difficult time.

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Tryingmybest Jun 2015
I'm sorry for your loss Lillylu. You were a loving daughter to your Dad.

Freaky Jun 2015
So sorry Lily. I hope you find comfort in knowing you did everything you could for him. As others have said, please take care of yourself now.

Countrymouse Jun 2015
Hugs to you Lilly, I'm sorry for your father's passing. I hope it's some comfort to you to think that, knowing how impaired his brain function was by the end of his life, he probably was less aware of his own condition than you were. A terrible thing for you to have to witness, but perhaps worse for you than it was for him. Look after yourself, hugs again.

BarbBrooklyn Jun 2015
I'm so sorry, Lilly.

Lillylu Jun 2015
He suffered for 5 hrs before passing out

JessieBelle May 2015
I am so sorry, ((((Lillylu)))).

Lillylu May 2015
Sad new my dad passed Away.His suffer ended .

Lillylu May 2015
Dark color urine ***

Lillylu May 2015
One last question since morning I see dark color or urine..,
Thanks in advance

Lillylu May 2015
He did not die! We moved from hospital to home during his last stage. We thought he might like to be home then a hospital...
Thanks for all ur support

BarbBrooklyn May 2015
Lilly, are you saying that your dad passed and that you are crying? We all feel for you, my dear. Be comforted by good memories.

Lillylu May 2015
Friday :-First day dad was home and felt happily...
It was hard but home is-home
Continuous in saline going on

BarbBrooklyn May 2015
Lillyly, your dad and your family are in my thoughts every day.

Lillylu May 2015
Current status on Thursday May 28-
No change + all the medication has been stopped since 4 days +rattle cough+urine is tea color + sleep around 23 to 23 1/2 hrs + pulse rate around 175 to 183..
Can't take any more this suffer & Looking at his suffer.
Today my mom decided to take him home & I m praying some miracle happened and let him go peace fully at home with all kids..
In hospital staying in one room feels like we are waiting for his death to happen but if we take home he can go peacefully...
That's what I explained my mom and made her to take decision...
Please pray for my dad to have a peace end at home..

Lillylu May 2015
Thanks a lot for your support

xxxxxxxx May 2015
The cough could just be congestion. At the end of life, people sometimes develop congestion and a sound when breathing that has been described as a "death rattle". People who are in active stage of dying are not hungry or thirsty. They can live longer with a feeding tube, but to what end? If there is no hope of improvement, then you are just putting off the inevitable. So terribly sorry, but it's true, no one lives forever. My recommendation would be to make him comfortable, give him pain medication, keep his mouth moist (oxygen is so drying) and be with him. The hearing is the last sense to go, so sing to him, talk to him, play soft music. Whatever comfort you desire.

Sorry, I have no clue about the pulse question. Ask his doctor or a nurse.

Lillylu May 2015
Question on pulse,82 years old and his pulse around 180,170,160
Should I worry about it
Thanks in advance

Lillylu May 2015
Looking at his suffer from last 2 days was sad.....

Tryingmybest May 2015
Thinking of you today Lillylu and keeping you in my prayers.

Lillylu May 2015
They would be giving anesthesia to insert the tube

jeannegibbs May 2015
What would the surgery be for?

Lillylu May 2015
I meant consent *

Lillylu May 2015
Twice he pulled his tube so we started giving fluids thru oral but he is not cooperating and 18 hrs of heavy cough. Sunday afternoon doctors started to put the tube again but he was not co-operating with doctors they gave up after trying for 20 minutes
And put the IV.. Now doctors said I have to give a content for tomorrow to take him into operation theatre..
Feeling sad and at the same time I don't want him to suffer anymore...,

Lillylu May 2015
I was holding his hands all night and day.trying to spend as much as I can.
Thanks to all of you to support me & my dad

Lillylu May 2015
Since last night he is suffering with very bad cough. Not even a single minute slept all night.
It's hard to see him

Lillylu May 2015
As of now he is in hospital with care and taking him home where we have facility with one person round the clock who takes care of him prettymuch he is like hospice service that we have(dad lives in India)

Tryingmybest May 2015
Lillylu, it's terribly hard to stand by while a loved one goes through the final stages of an illness, at times it's unbearable. It can feel like an eternity. When they loose the ability to communicate we can't know what is in their minds but unless your Dad looks like he is in pain he is probably in a peaceful state. It is normal to want to know how much longer he has, it's even normal to wish his time would come soon. No one can tell you exactly how long he has but there are signs to look for. If you google "end of life signs" there is some good info on that. You might get some idea of how long it will be.

It may not seem like much but sitting with him and holding his hand could help to ease your stress and it might help him. My thoughts and prayers are with you at this difficult time.

jeannegibbs May 2015
"Final stage" is not years. It could be a few days to a few months. A hospice nurse might be able to give you a closer estimate. My husband was on hospice 5 weeks, in our home. Nobody can give you an exact date, of course.

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