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booper37 Asked March 2015

Since winter, I can't get my husband to leave the house, except for Sunday dinners with our son. Any advice?

I've had to cancel several appts. He is perfectly capable of walking, but since this reluctance to go outdoors started, he has stopped going to the gym, stopped walking around our neighborhood. He climbs the stairs to get back to his bed after coming down for meals. Spending more and more time in bed. Comes out occasionally for a very short look at Youtube comedies. He no longer sees his social worker or psychiatrist. I am trying to arrange for a home health aide to allow me time to do necessary things and walk for my own exercise, and also want in-home counseling for us both since he will no longer see his social worker.

booper37 Mar 2015
Freqflyer, Currently he's on small dose of sertraline and trazodone at night with melatonin for sleeping. All this time in bed during the day is upsetting his time orientation and he isn't able to keep track if it is morning or evening, keeps asking me what time it is, what day it is. I do hope warmer weather will get him outside.

booper37 Mar 2015
txcamper, he's seeing a psychiatrist because he was hospitalized for major depression 5 years ago and has been on some trials of different anti-depressants since then. Last fall he decided he "hated" the psychiatrist and would not return, then in December he "hated" the social worker. I am now trying an in-home counseling social worker to start next week. There is a mobile psychiatric service which I may try as well. In a few weeks the weather should warm up. I was thinking of trying your idea of tricking him by getting him out to a restaurant that serves his favorite dessert. We'll see how these ideas pan out.

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pamstegma Mar 2015
The services you need are ordered by an MD. Call the Social Worker yourself and ask for help. Call the psychiatrist and ask for help. Call the primary and ask for help. The patient is non-compliant and needs intervention. Your son should end the Sunday dinners until dad is compliant.

xxxxxxxx Mar 2015
I don't know why he's seeing a psychiatrist, but he sounds severely depressed to me. I would certainly follow through on that because it won't get any better. A lot of people tend to hibernate during the winter months. Home is warm and safe. You might try to trick him to get him to the appointments. Tell him you're going to do something he enjoys and then go to the appointment while you're out. I have to do that with mom sometimes. I would not just give up without a fight though. Good luck with this.

gladimhere Mar 2015
My Mom occasionally goes through something similar. These are the days when she realizes there is something wrong with her brain. She doesn't want to go out or even talk to people because she thinks she is dumb, and afraid other people will think the same. She is afraid to go anywhere by herself in spite of threatening to drive off to find whatever it is she is looking for. It used to happen much more frequently than it does now, so at least for my mom, this has largely decreased with the progression of her dementia.

What I am trying to wait out patiently now is her always thinking she lives somewhere else. And she has lived in this house for more than 50 years.

freqflyer Mar 2015
Booper, how far along is your husband into his Alzheimer's/Dementia? Sounds like he has set his own comfort zones, such as your son's home and his own home. Wonder if he is developing a phobia of being outdoors in the public eye... agoraphobia?

Has he changed any of his medicine? If yes, check with his doctor to see if the medicine might be causing this.... if he is on blood pressure meds that have been increased will zone a person out.... and sometimes fillers/binders/coatings on and in pills can cause side effects. What about back pain or leg pain?

Can hubby relate to you why he no longer wants to go outdoor to walk around the neighborhood? Sounds like you both miss doing that.

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