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M
Magpie61 Asked February 2015

My friend desperately needs hospice help, but he refuses to consider the option. Who or how can I contact someone to help him?

My friend has stage 4 cancer and is in total denial about his situation. I have tried repeatedly to talk to him about hospice care and he says he doesn't need it.He has animals he cannot care for and refuses to let them go to a better situation, but calls me to care for them and cries when I try to talk to him about it. I seem to be the only person he reaches out to for help. He lives alone and has no family nearby, I do not know them and have no way to contact them. i know he is desperatly manipulating me to be his caregiver, and have caught him out on some outright lies about any other help he may have, there is none.This person is a casual friend, not a best friend, lover or family, and I am in no position to take on the responsibility of him or his animals. I have tried detaching myself after offering alternatives to him all to no avail. Where do I go from here? Who can help? Please this is making me crazy.

ladonna Feb 2015
Contact council on aging and then a great hospice service they will assign him a guardian to take care of his entire world they will help him from home health care or home hospice care meals bathing household and finances they will also pay for all hospice needs from materials to furniture they have been awesome for us, if you are involved you can sign up to get paid to help him I know its a lot but at least consider thank everyone needs a friend even if you let him know what your boundaries are if you were dying how you might feel being alone he may ask you to do these things just to have your company though you know him better than I good luck but definitely make the phone calls they will help you break away

Chicago1954 Feb 2015
Heck, I would go on vacation. Yes, stand your ground. Tell him "no." I agree, that you are in a bad position.

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littletonway Feb 2015
Call your local Adult Protective Services to report the situation and completely step away. There is no need for you to be this involved in a casual friend's caregiving, unless it is really something you have your heart set on, Don't answer your phone or have contact with him if you know helping out is not for you. Sounds harsh but there is help for him and he will adjust to whatever happens.

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