Educate yourself about Alzheimer's. The Alzheimer's Association is an excellent resource. Thankfully, the do not argue rule is now accepted nearly universally. The idea is that you must get into his world since he can't get into yours.
You will need a lot of support. Please keep coming back to agingcare. This community is packed with the wisdom of those in the trenches. Take care of yourself, Carol
Best thing you can do it do not challenge what he says. remember, it's dementia not Dad talking. If he doesn't remember something, do not say remember like a question. Instead make a statement. Always remember, it's the disease not the person talking. It's rough!
Be there for him And love him unconditionally no matter how hard it gets. . Educate yourself as much as possible. Knowlage is power. Just type in alzheimers then you will get a lot of info. . Good luck and hugs to y xxxx
I like all the resources mentioned here, and I also like Teepa Snow's videos...she has a great perspective on helping people with dementia, and there are free snippets on her website teepasnow. And I'd really encourage you to connect with other dementia caregivers, whether online or in person near you.
I'd also suggest you try to find a senior health clinic or geriatrics clinic. There are some ways to optimize the brain and body health of people with dementia, so they can feel their best. One thing we do in geriatrics is avoid medications that make thinking worse, and help people try non-drug ways to manage behavior problems. Exercise, social activities, purposeful activities, routine are great. Untreated pain or constipation can make people more difficult and should be addressed. Otherwise, excess medical care tends to be stressful and often creates more problems than it solves...so it's good to get in the habit of asking the doctors to walk your family throught the likely benefits and risks of anything they propose.
good luck, it's often a long journey for families. He's lucky to have you concerned and involved.
Don't overwhelm yourself with information but do start reading a little each day. I recommend that you sign up for the newsletter from this site so you can get daily information. I also recommend that you do an internet search for the Introductory Guide to Alzheimer's from Together In This. It's a nice,short, basic, action-orientated guide which includes a weekly educational element.
At the beginning of this journey in August, 2014 I attended a luncheon at a Assisted Living facility, where my sweet MIL had lived before she passed. The video we watched was Teepa Snow's. She compared the stages of Alzheimer's to gem stones..it's the first time this disease began to make sense to me, I could not grasp how this could possibly happen to my Father. One who had always questioned things, loved Science, and how everything in this world worked! I found it hard to control my emotions that day and I still have the beautiful chart we were given. Thanks drkernisan for reminding me of this woman's powerful message and how to love and continue to care for our loved one's going through this journey.
Get him out of the house, take him for rides, and keep him busy. My father would get nasty, yell, and call filthy names. You just have to realize you can't take it personally, and when they're having a bad time try to get them busy with something else. Remember him how he used to be, he's not responsible for how he is now, give him a ton of patience. Are there any projects or hobbies he's still capable of doing?
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My dad has dementia as a result of failed surgery. The following Agingcare article tells part of my story and the learning process is you're interested: https://www.agingcare.com/articles/understand-what-a-person-with-alzheimers-is-feeling-121365.htm A Caregiver’s Story: Getting Into a Dementia Patient’s Head.
You will need a lot of support. Please keep coming back to agingcare. This community is packed with the wisdom of those in the trenches.
Take care of yourself,
Carol
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I'd also suggest you try to find a senior health clinic or geriatrics clinic. There are some ways to optimize the brain and body health of people with dementia, so they can feel their best. One thing we do in geriatrics is avoid medications that make thinking worse, and help people try non-drug ways to manage behavior problems. Exercise, social activities, purposeful activities, routine are great. Untreated pain or constipation can make people more difficult and should be addressed. Otherwise, excess medical care tends to be stressful and often creates more problems than it solves...so it's good to get in the habit of asking the doctors to walk your family throught the likely benefits and risks of anything they propose.
good luck, it's often a long journey for families. He's lucky to have you concerned and involved.
http://tinyurl.com/a9czucc
Suggested reading Jennifer Ghent-Fuller's article, "Understanding the
Dementia Experience" tinyurl/pzof7an
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