My Dad has the beginning stages dementia and my Mom's in the later stage of dementia, how do we convince him to put her in a home?

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Our father is the sole caregiver for our mother, and he is no longer taking good care of her. Not bathing, feeding, or assisting her as she can not walk very well, and is incontinent. She needs to be placed in a nursing home for proper care.

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Jennifer, that is possibly great news! Keep us in the loop!
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Thanks for the update Jenn70. I hope things go well for your mom.
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An update to to Mother's condition, she was hospitalized after a fall. During her stay they tested her for everything, and found evidence that she has excess fluid on her brain, hydrocephalus. The neurologist believes this is the cause of her dementia, inability to walk, and incontinence. They did a lumbar puncture yesterday to drain away the fluid, and she is due to go to physical therapy today to decide if it has made a difference. I will keep you posted. As for Dad, he is still barely holding it together.
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The first year my mthr was in memory care, a husband and wife team lived there too. The wife did not need to be in memory care, but chose to live there with her husband until he died. She could not bathe or change him, and she told me it was nice to know he was taken care of and she could just be his wife still. I was sad to see her move out after he died. She went to an assisted living facility where she knew some people since she did not need memory care.

This might be a great option for your dad. I know that can't be easy.
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I was just thinking the same thing that cmagnum above had posted... a chat with her doctor with your Dad present.

Could it be that your Dad has found it too exhausting to be the sole Caregiver? And is afraid to admit he needs help? Some men don't want to admit defeat.

It would be nice if a continuing care facility can be found where both your parents can reside and still be together. That way your Dad can learn his way around the new facility, bond with the other people that are there, make new friends, etc.

Hopefully everything will work out to be a win-win for all involved.
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Would it be possible for her doctor to tell him and explain to him why she needs to go to a nursing home?

How close is he to needing a nursing home?
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