Find Senior Care (City or Zip)
Join Now Log In
D
daisee1203 Asked November 2014

When is it time to move my grandmother?

My grandmother is in her late 70's. Widowed. She lives alone in an apt but cannot drive (no car and not physically able). She has to depend on family to grocery shop, run errands, etc. She must use a walker to walk. She cannot run or move quickly. She is in an apt complex for 55+ but stays in her apt all day and night watching tv. It is a production for her to go anywhere and she can't spend a lot of time out and about. She is diabetic. She is good at taking meds, having conversations, texting, cooking small meals (and paying mind to her diet). She watches church daily and shops Amazon. But will sometimes have to wait days for toilet paper, toothpaste, paper towels, milk, etc. Because she has to depend on someone to get these items.
But last night she fell. And was on the floor for 2 hours until an uncle could help her. She has Med-Alert type tag but it was not on her. I am so upset. I hate that she was on the floor.
She has 7 kids. No one seems to want to help her. Just bring her things. Which is great but it seems like they are ignoring the larger issue which is that she can't do a lot on her own.

Am I being unreasonable? My husband and I are worried for her.
She has a master's degree. She is such a smart, spirited woman. It breaks my heart to see her this way. I just feel she deserves much better.

Sunnygirl1 Nov 2014
I would visit some places that she might like that offer a suite, but with assisted living. There are some nice places that she might warm up to if she saw how they are set up. They may offer prepared meals so they can eat family style or in their room, transportation to shopping, entertainment and doctor appointments, laundry services, on site hair salon, physical therapy, socials, even church services and entertainment come into the facility. I often saw the ladies playing cards or watching tv together in the tv room. They even are able to assist with medication administration and grooming, when the time comes.

I would look into it and see if she is interested. It sounds like being alone may be dangerous for her and also quite lonely.

Eyerishlass Nov 2014
A POA is a Power of Attorney. This would be someone your grandmother appoints legally to oversee her finances and other business. Usually a family member.

ADVERTISEMENT


timbuktu Nov 2014
daisee 1203, check your newsfeed for the "hug" and info I sent.

daisee1203 Nov 2014
Thanks so much.

Her "kids" are in their 40's and 50's. 7 of them! I am the oldest of all the grandkids and I am in my late 30's. My mom and aunt try to help but I know get very frustrated with her. But they do try. The other "kids"...well some help, some totally don't.

I'm sure it's denial. I try to bring things up but I'm ignored. Or I get yelled at. I got yelled at this morning. What do I know? I'm only in my late 30's! LOL.

For example, I suggested for Christmas, for folks to start giving her things like laundry detergent, toilet paper, cleaning supplies, freezer meals, etc. My aunt told me she doesn't want her home bound. She already is. She has no car. She has to depend on at least one person to go somewhere or get things done. She can take out trash and go to her mailbox right outside her door.

What is a POA?
I'm new to all this.

timbuktu Nov 2014
Start making some phone calls and raising "polite" h*ll. Her kids may be in denial,by kids I take it they are in their 60's and 70's? Sound at least like a good AL environment would be what she needs, sounds like no dementia just mobility and balance issues.You should be worried.Her "kids" may not realize that she doesn't necessarily have to move in with them but AL is available.Do any of her "kids" have POA? If so call them, what are their plans? Nothing will get done unless people start speaking to each other and a game plan is formulated. Ask them how they will feel in dealing with the fact their mother is found dead on the floor after several days? I now that is blunt but it is a distinct possibility.

ADVERTISEMENT

Ask a Question

Subscribe to
Our Newsletter