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chloec Asked November 2014

My Mum lives in a flat. The past 20 years she has refused to register with a GP she needs assistance refuses. Advice?

My mum separated with my dad 20 years ago, since this time she has refused to register with a GP. I hold the mortgage to the flat she lives in and she lives there on her own.

She does all shopping online, refuses to go out of the flat. A few times when I have gone in there has been a very strong smell of 'non personal hygiene'. I contacted 2 x local GP's who have said they can not register her or go and see her without my mum's consent.

Social services phoned my mum after I had contacted and my mum refused support so they have closed file saying they cannot do anything.

My mum's behaviour is now affecting my own health and I am keeping down a full time job plus worrying constantly about her who I feel does need an assessment due to looking after herself and there could be depression or other health issues.

pamstegma Nov 2014
You have to make it clear to them that she has dementia. Petition for Guardianship, contact: Public Guardianship Office Archway Tower,
2 Junction Road, London N19 5SZ
Customer service helpline: 0845 330 2900, Enquiry Line: 0845 330 2900. www.guardianship.gov.uk

pamstegma Nov 2014
Try West Middlesex University Hospital www.wmuh.nhs.uk
Call on 020 8321 6261 (Monday to Friday 8am – 4pm), or leave a message
on their voicemail, and they will get back to you as soon as possible.
E-mail at: PALS.service@wmuh.nhs.uk

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chloec Nov 2014
My mum lives in Middlesex, England. I have tried over several years to get her even to come out for a ride, go shopping and just before she phones and refuses.

pamstegma Nov 2014
Need to know the city, province/state and country to help you.

Sunnygirl1 Nov 2014
Are you in England? I'm not familiar with the laws or resources there, but I would imagine that there has to be a resource for people with mental illness, if that is what she is suffering from. How old is she? Does she have memory problems? There are so many things this could be.

How does she pay for her living expenses? What if you said she needed a physical exam in order to keep getting her monthly check? Since it's your house, you do hold some power over her. I would really focus on getting her to register for a GP and then getting her there with you, so you can tell the GP about her situation.

It's a shame that if it is depression, she may benefit from medication that could really help her.

Have you sought any legal advice about taking over her decision making? At least you could find out if you have any chance of doing that. If not, your hands may be tied. You can't force her to do anything, only try to persuade her.

I wish you the best. I know this must be very frustrating.

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