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Lynn60 Asked September 2014

Mom wants someone around her 24/7 in the assisted living. Any advice?

My Mom wants someone around her 24/7 in Assistant living and she is so demanding. We put Mom there after she fell several times and had to go to the emergency room. She said she hated living by herself so this seemed to be the best answer for her since I can not physically help her. Most of the times someone goes and sees Mom daily. The staff said that Mom has more visitors than anyone else there.
This morning she called and said she wanted to know if I knew of a young girl that would come and stay with her. She was so upset and said that her medicine wasn't right(we have an automatic dispenser for her meds) and that someone needed to look at them.
I don't know if Mom is ready for the nursing home now or not. She has Parkinson. Thanks

LearningCurve Sep 2014
Recently moved my mom to a "Residential Care Home" or "Adult Foster Care". She gets more personal attention now (her needs require). The search may be extensive but I'm NOT impressed by the large corporate facilities at all. The cost is comparable, often all inclusive and may have aging in place.

MaggieMarshall Sep 2014
We aim to please. That's who we are. When we can. But I think we have to realize that all "wishes" don't get fulfilled. Heck, I've wanted to be 5'10" tall most of my life! ;)

Nursing home and Assisted Living are two very different atmospheres. I'd lean toward keeping her in AL for as long as possible...even paying for a la carte services rather than moving her to a NH.

Sometimes, I think, we just have to tackle each problem as it comes up. Like when she asks if you knew of a young girl that could come and stay with her? "Not offhand, mom, but how about if I look around?" This lets her know she's being heard, while you look around in your closets to see if anyone's in there. (I'm silly this morning.)

As to her meds? "Mom, next time I come, let's go over all your pills and dosages. Maybe something got mixed up. We'll double check together." Again, she's being heard. And this time, of course, it's easy enough to spend your time with her next visit going over each bottle...each dosage...you get the picture.

One problem at a time as they rear their ugly little heads. ;)

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pamstegma Sep 2014
In Assisted Living there are plenty of people her own age. STOP going there daily. She will never attend activities until you pull back. Do NOT let her manage her own meds, let the AL staff handle dispensing them.
Our mom is in an 80 bed facility. She did much better when we cut visits to once a week. When she called with a concern, we directed her to staff. Your mom sounds well suited to AL if she desires social contact. Keep a copy of the activities calendar handy. If she says she is bored, remind her what is available that day.

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