Find Senior Care (City or Zip)
Join Now Log In
I
izzabo Asked August 2014

Mom has no will or power of attorney and six kids. Who's in charge?

Live in Maryland. 90 year old ailing mother, father has passed. Mother has no will or power of attorney, 6 kids. who is in charge? Mother recovering from a mild stroke. In assisted living, looking for options for care. No will or power of attorney. Who is responsible for making the decision re next steps?

BarbBrooklyn Sep 2014
My mother is in her 9th and appointed my brother POA many years ago because she was prescient enough to realize that there might come to be situations in which she was temporarily unable to act for herself. This has never been about money. This is about being able to fill out assisted living and nh applications on her behalf while she's still sedated after hip surgery. This is about having a health care proxy that says do not intubate when she's coming out of a procedure that causes a breathing problem. Our mom had a stroke. And then came the delusions, the paranoia and the hallucinations. Yes, spoil her, but also, yes, get a poa for one of you if she is willing and able.

jeannegibbs Aug 2014
Does Mother want someone to act on her behalf? Does she understand that concept? It is certainly easy for her to appoint someone if she wants to.

What "options for next steps" are you considering? Is she able to understand these options if they are presented to her? Can she decide among them herself?

ADVERTISEMENT


Caregiver99 Aug 2014
Your Mum is in charge. She does not 'need' a POA if she doesn't want one.

If she dies intestate, then you must consult a family lawyer experienced in estate settlements. Every country has laws to solve these issues.

Stop treating her as if she is almost dead. Cheer her up and spoil her. Don't make the distribution of her billions the main focus of your attentions.

pamzimmrrt Aug 2014
time for the POA!! Get together and if you can,decide who will be the POA. With a stroke, she will be soon be unable to make those hard decisions. and the next stroke may take any choice from her and you.

Chicago1954 Aug 2014
Simply, she is. She does really need a POA, because someone needs to do the "foot work." Also, without that whomever will not be able to get info concerning her health, from her doctor or the assisted living.

POA needs to be in the same state that she is in and realize that it is a couple of hours of work a day, for the first few months.

ADVERTISEMENT

Ask a Question

Subscribe to
Our Newsletter