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M
monayou Asked July 2014

Not happy with present roommate. Any advice?

Due to worse with dementia than Mom.

monayou Jul 2014
got Mom new roommate now, its her friend so they know each other...hope it works, well she can't get up and go bathroom by her self so she will have assistence so thats a help. thanks for all the support. Monayou

Sunnygirl1 Jul 2014
It's a tough call. You never know what the next roommate may be like. I think I might discuss getting the problems resolved. Is the sun shinning directly on the roommate? Could she be moved to the other side of the room with a time limit on how soon in the day the blinds may be closed? Would the roommate even understand what this is all about?

Someone should be cleaning the room more if roommate is making a mess. Maybe it's the roommate who needs a more hands on location. Maybe the roommate could be moved.

My concern is due to my LO first roommate. She could not hear or see very well and constantly yelled out mean comments. No matter how loud you spoke or what you said, she was yell, WHAT! Then she would make negative remarks. It was not good at all and they moved my LO out in 2 days. It happened before I even made the request. She now has a wonderful situation. Good luck!

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monayou Jul 2014
thanks for responding to my answer...i do feel i treat staff very nice, bring them candy or pens, but they could care less. i am worried about the disorianted Mom will become if i move her, its a step down on her dementia.

monayou Jul 2014
no $

Chicago1954 Jul 2014
Could she get a private room?

3pinkroses Jul 2014
I agree with Jeanne and think there is no question that you ask for a room transfer for your mother. I found the staff where my mother was living to be quite open and helpful with respect to room changes. I had to request room changes for my mother and there was no problem. However, it might take a bit longer than you would like to find another room.

But, as Jeanne said - your mother should not have to live in a dark cave - that is simply not acceptable and rather depressing. It's understandable for the roommate with paranoid tendencies - but should not be forced on your mother.

If the staff does not cooperate or understand; you can always contact the nursing home ombudsman in the area. These are the people that represent the patients and their job is to ensure that the patient is receiving the care they require, etc. The representative for the NH where my mother was; stopped by on many occasions while I was there and left her name and number should there be any problems that she could help resolve. I believe their number was posted in the lobby of the NH as well. Or Elder Services in the town could give you the number. Hope you find a new room for your mother. Take care.

jeannegibbs Jul 2014
Yes, monayou, I think you should request a room transfer for your mother. Expecting your mother to live in a dark cave because her roommate is paranoid is not in her best interests. For the unsanitary behavior, that could perhaps be handled by more frequent attention by cleaning staff and that could be discussed. But there is no way to compromise or work around the blinds being drawn all day. If the staff cannot help settle the roommate down about these issues, then I hope you succeed in getting Mom moved.

pamstegma Jul 2014
The NH does not move people unless there are complaints or conflicts. There are no guarantees the next roommate will be better. How does Mom feel about it? If she likes her roommate, let her be.

monayou Jul 2014
she is very parnoid so cant open blinds in day, no lights on, urinates on seat of toliet not cleaning after her self, spills on floor too. and sink leaves dirty spit...Is this reasson for asking for my Mom to move to another room? she is in nursing home long term.

jeannegibbs Jul 2014
What things does the roommate do that make you unhappy?

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