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willow11 Asked April 2014

Live-in expectations. Any suggestions?

I had to put a second bed in my mom's room and have been sleeping in her room for over a year is it unreasonable to request that a live in caregiver sleep there instead? with out that option I see no point in a live in.

assandache7 Apr 2014
I would speak with Dr about Mom's anxiety.

I finally after a year found a med that has relieved my Mom of her morning panic attacks. She would wake up around 4am to go to the bathroom and didn't want to be the only one in the house awake.. The medication has been a godsend!!

gladimhere Apr 2014
In my area agencies charge an additional hourly fee of $3.00 if a place of their own is not provided for sleep. I think that the caregiver in the room with you mom could potentially disturb your mom's sleep. Would mom be likely to wake up and wonder who the stranger in her room is, frightening her?

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willow11 Apr 2014
Thank you frenchmadeline, yes I did not elaborate in my question first time on this site. My mom is physically great she has Dementia and last year she had a pace maker placed , ever since her stay in the hospital she is absolutely terrified of being left alone. She usually gets up once per night to use the bathroom at most twice. I get up usually twice and sometimes we are in sync and that helps..

frenchmadeline Apr 2014
May I ask why it is necessary to sleep in the room with your Mother? Is she ambulatory? Is she able to get up and out of bed unassisted? Does she get oit of bed and wander? Or is it a question of making her comfortable by your presence. Or are you more comfortable not leaving her alone at night. I would like your motivation before I echo any others who suggest it is time for a NH or hospice care. (Besides which there are certain areas of the country, depending upon where you live and whether there are pilot programs in effect in that area, in which hospice care can be provided in your home under the watchful eyes of Medicare. Please see PACE on medicare.gov).

Eyerishlass Apr 2014
I agree, it's unreasonable to expect a live-in to stay in a bed in your mom's bedroom.

Also, a live-in is allowed at least 6 hours of rest at night. If your mom's care exceeds that on a regular basis it is probably time to look into a facility that provides more care than 1 person is able to give.

pamstegma Apr 2014
No live in will take the job unless they have their own room to sleep in. Yes, it is unreasonable. Get mom to a hospice nursing home if that is what her doctor recommends. 24/7 care takes a team of nurses and aides, no one person can do all that, as you can see yourself burning out.

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