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bkilling Asked March 2014

Is there a term for "we have had this conversation already" (we have not)?

The person gets angry when told the TV show is new and they could not have seen it "I have seen this TV show before" (it's new), or the conversation did not happen. This is a fairly recent situation and follows years ago onset of short term memory loss and some loss of cognitive function (no longer drives; computer skills diminished somewhat; etc.). Verbal and conversational skills remain good. On lengthy list of meds for pain, depression, blood pressure, cholesterol, thyroid, others.

Deebles62 Mar 2014
Pick your battles... I have been living with this now for 6 years (WOW).. and at first I would make every effort (that means argue) to convince my husband to see the truth in what I was saying. It was very tiring and stressful. I realized that the only thing I had control of was "ME". There is a woman named Teepa Snow that has some wonderful you tube videos and a website on how to address some of these issues. They have been very helpful in assisting me to cope with the constant "new normal" in my life. I love my husband dearly.. I have watched him as he has gone from my soul mate, to my child. It was hard for me to believe that he could forget so much or not really remember certain things. (now I'm grateful for when he finds the toilet and uses it correctly - and we no longer wash our hands EVER!! yuck hand sanitizer is my friend) I am his caregiver 24/7 the only battle we have now is when we take a shower and he doesn't want his bottom and private parts clean. They get clean, that's not negotiable. He get's assertive, but I persist back and we get the job done. Everything else is just a new normal. Good Luck to you... be kind to yourself.. and God grant you the wisdom and peace to persevere with quiet calm.

blannie Mar 2014
First of all, I wouldn't argue about it. It's not worth it in the overall scheme of things. Secondly, it could be due to diminished ability to remember details. So if she sees a TV shows with characters she's seen before, she may think she's seen that show before, because she's seen one similar (with the same stars). Same with conversations. You may have had a conversation about a topic and it seems like the same one to her, but you know it's different because you can still keep track of details. But again, it's not worth getting upset about or arguing about. No one wins that one because she can't help it. Her brain is broken.

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FedUpNow Mar 2014
Sometimes it is not dementia, however. Sometimes the person wants to go back to their own home and figures if they ask and ask and ask and ask and ask and ask again that eventually you will kill yourself or you will give in and take them back where they want to be. If it doesn't happen in newscasts or anywhere else but over issues you two disagree on, that's what I had happen here. I would say (eventually YELL), I am NOT going to discuss this anymore! Of course that never stopped her. Walking out of the room helps. Hoping to be kidnapped by aliens or move to Zambia where you can hear the roar of the falls didn't work. Sometimes I would turn the TV up so loud I could no longer here her. Do whatever you need to do. Things are not going to change in Paradise. Death is the only deliverer.

jeannegibbs Mar 2014
My husband (dementia, starting at age 76) also was confused about what he had or had not seen before. Sometimes he would claim that he'd seen the movie before but that it ended differently, or had different characters. I never felt it was important to convince him otherwise. No harm done, right?

Having the meds checked periodically and keeping the doctor informed about new symptoms is a good idea. This particular symptom doesn't seem especially dangerous to me. I would just go along with it and not argue.

vstefans Mar 2014
Deja vu? Jamais vu? No use arguing, maybe ask if meds could be changed. In the setting of dementia, discontinuing use of statins may be considered as they may in rare cases contribute to memory problems and probably do not enhance quality of life.

BarbBrooklyn Mar 2014
What Moxie said, 100%. You mention in your profile that your wife has alzheimers. Is this who you're talking about? If that is the case, it seems like perhaps she's entered a new phase and you need to catch up. Is it perhaps time to place her in a facility?.
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Moxie1 Mar 2014
What you are describing may be early Alzheimer's or dementia, but there are over 50 other illnesses that have symptoms similar to these diseases, so it is important to take the person to their doctor. Before seeing the doctor, write a letter describing the symptoms you have witnessed and ask the doctor to keep it confidential. Fax or mail the letter to the doctor's office prior to the appointment and also take a copy of the letter and give it to the receptionist on the day of the appointment. My hope is that this turns out to be something easily remedied such as a bladder infection, but the only way to find out for certain is to get a doctor involved.

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